Every moment, action, and reaction in my life has been preceded by memories of moments in the past or predicted future moments that may never happen. And it seems these moments are the ones that make us miserable or hateful or fearful or jealous.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve spent my fair share creating a “future” that may never happen or thinking about a past that I can’t change.
When really, this moment is the only one that matters. Not yesterday. Not tomorrow. It’s a tough pill to swallow, I know. And sometimes I have trouble getting it to go down.
But, upon reflection this week, the happiest I have ever been has been when I am living in just one moment in time with no preconceived notions about what has happened or what will happen. Not that it’s an easy thing to do. It isn’t. It’s actually really hard sometimes. Especially when you have a person or a thing in your life and all you want is a future with it or them. It’s even more difficult when you know you aren’t going to get what you want. So instead of enjoying the moments, you have with them, you end up ruining the moment by dwelling on what may never be.
But living in the moment is all that really matters, because we may not get a future. And the past doesn’t matter anymore. I don’t think it matters if you are mowing the grass or loving someone. I think right now is where you should focus your energy.
So many people dwell on the past and drive themselves crazy trying to change the future. When in reality, you should only try and change your now. If you aren’t happy, make a change. It doesn’t have to be big. Baby steps are perfect. If you are happy today, keep in mind that nothing has to change.
Even if your day doesn’t go the way you planned. Maybe you quit your job. Maybe you got a flat tire on the way to pick your kid up from school. In the big scheme of things, none of it will matter tomorrow. All you can do is change today.
And so, I’ve decided to literally take one moment at a time. One day at a time. One week at a time.
As it turns out, it doesn’t really matter what we want and how we are going to “feel” when we don’t get it. Most people don’t give a shit and the ones who do aren’t usually the ones who can give you want you want anyway.
Not that this is a foreign idea to me. It’s not. I have always tried to live like that, but I haven’t focused on being successful at it daily. I’ve irritated my sister to no end with my “will this even matter 5 minutes from now? 5 days? 5 weeks?” I do let things get to me sometimes. I let stress build up. Or I let my patience run out. But in the end, it never really matters in any moment but the one the shit hits the fan in. So I think if I change the way I react to situations, then the situation doesn’t snowball into an avalanche of “poor me, nothing ever goes right.” Because with that attitude, nothing ever does.
So, even though I’ve been working on this attitude adjustment daily, I’m going to start focusing on it and seeing how things change for the better. Because I am certain they will.