Flight 426

I flew to Orlando yesterday on a very uneventful flight. As it turns out, some airlines are back to capacity. I was seated next to two other passengers. The airline did insist that everyone wear a mask and that it cover your nose. That made me feel a little less uneasy.

I was in an aisle seat, which I rarely enjoy. I get motion sick very easily. You would think an aisle seat would be better, but for some reason, getting to look out the window makes me want to barf less. I tried to read, but that made it worse. I tried to sleep, but the guy in the middle seat was a bigger dude and our knees and shoulders were touching. The heat from his body made me uneasy. He probably wasn’t thrilled either, because my no filter possibly offended him when I asked him if he wanted the aisle seat because he was a little “bulky” for a middle seat. I realized as soon as I said it that I sounded like all those men who tell women they are “thick” and think it’s a compliment. I just meant he was kind of muscular like he works out. I decided not to explain myself. And just sit quietly with my foot in my mouth.

I haven’t been on a plane in well over a year. Not much has changed.

The flight was short at an hour and nine minutes. It was a really cloudy day. We flew above the clouds and I think I could see lightning striking from above which was kind of cool or maybe I was hallucinating. Speaking of hallucinations, I always think of worse case scenarios when I am flying. You would think that I would try to think positive and not think about my imminent death, but instead, I start with the pilot.

Has he been drinking before getting on the plane? Is he going to fall asleep while not on autopilot? Is he exercising regularly or is he likely to have a heart attack mid air and kill us all. Then I move on to the plane itself. Did they fuel it up? How are the propellers? Is anything squeaking or sound like it’s going to rattle its way off the plane? And then I move to the passengers. Do any of them hate life? Are they going to blow us all up while screaming “my mother never loved me!”? And finally, I move on to nature. What if the storm we are flying over strikes the plane with lightning while we are descending and catches a wing on fire? What if some weird Stephen King monster is on the wing of the plane trying to stop the propeller? What if a flock of birds somehow decided to fly really fucking high and they are the reason the plane goes down?

These thoughts do not distress me. I just use them as a way to pass the time so I don’t throw up on my neighbor from motion sickness.

By the time I’ve run all the scenarios through my head, the plane starts descending through what seems like endless clouds. One last scenario pops into my head that there may be another plane in the thick of clouds and the radar misses one of us and we crash head on leading everyone (but me) to a fiery death.

I don’t die, because someone has to be alive to write about it, right?

Anyway, everyone lived and maybe nobody even lost their luggage. I can’t say for sure because I didn’t have any luggage to check. I just carried a bag.

Either way, it was a super uneventful trip. I met up with my boss for the week and now we are at a super swank hotel in Orlando. I’ll tell you more about that tomorrow.

Have a great day!

One comment

  1. I do the same thing with anything that takes me out if my natural element
    Plane
    Roller coaster
    My kid being away with others
    Hell me holding a pot of boiling water

    Liked by 1 person

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