RouletteWeekend

With the election just a few months away, I’m sure you’ve realized that almost every other post you see on your social media feeds is some sort of meme by one side or the other spewing vitriol and hate to the other side. I’m pretty sure this election is as ugly as one has ever been. And quite frankly, it’s starting to hurt my heart.

It’s no secret that I am way left leaning. And if you looked at my past, it would be easy to see why. I was teenage mom, single, three kids by three different dads by the time I was 25. Two white kids, one black kid. One lesbian. A mom on disability due to a drunk driving accident. Raised without a dad due to no fault of my own. I learned really young that life wasn’t fair. I wasn’t taught the basic things that kids are usually taught, like how to cook and clean. I was never really expected to study or go to college because my mom didn’t finish high school. I came from a family that was happy to just get by so, of course, that’s all I wanted when I was young. I wanted to just get by. And I wanted to do it by any means necessary. I live in places that people of a higher socioeconomic status might call derogatory names like “the ghetto” or the “hood.” I raised my kids in these places, often with the help of government assistance and people who didn’t look like me or love like me.

I was also young when I learned that we are all just trying to do the best we can with the knowledge and the tools that were given to us by previous generations.

I saw a meme the other day posted by the right about Biden and it was one of those “he’s losing his mind,” “what was I gonna say,” “he’s so old,” kind of memes and for some reason, it made me really sad that this is where we have landed as a country. We have landed on bullying, the thing we work so hard to teach our children not to do. We, adults, are using the wonder that is social media, to make fun of what is possibly dementia or alzheimer’s in a man who could be a brother, a father, a grandfather, an uncle, to any of us.

I know that the mudslinging is and has always been a part of the “campaign trail.” I just don’t remember it being so brutal.

I will be honest, when I say that I am scared for November. I am scared that too many people will sit this one out because they don’t like either party. I’m scared that they will vote for the independent because they think he will do a better job (and I actually have these thoughts sometimes), but I fear in doing so, the man who has single handedly and successfully somehow brainwashed people into thinking that his way is the right way while nixing the fundamental rights and acceptance of whole groups of people will somehow get elected again. And yes, I’m afraid that it will be the end of the United States as we know it and we will be starving and fighting for our lives in the streets like Venezuela is doing right now, because he has appealed to racists, the misogynists, and the ignorant and thrown hollow promises their way baiting them into thinking that he somehow has their best interest at heart.

I’m truly saddened that there are so many people who don’t see not only how dangerous he is, but also what an actual horrible human being he is. These people, who claim to be Christians, are doing exactly opposite of what Jesus would want.

I can 100% understand not wanting some of the policies that the left might put into place. I can understand not agreeing with the other side. What I still cannot wrap my head around is the fact that the right thought that there was no other candidate qualified enough, smart enough, charismatic enough, Christian enough, “republican” enough to give the republican ticket to. I would be so sad to know that a sexual predator, a bully, the least “christianlike” person in their crowd was the one they were comfortable with representing me.

I want to pray for them, but I fear it’s too late and quite frankly, I’m afraid God might laugh about it.

I want to shake them by the shoulders and say, “it could be your daughter one day,” but I know some people never believe it would happen to them.

I want to say to them, “if you are as Christian as you say you are, why can’t you just love your neighbor and turn the other cheek to the things you don’t agree with instead of trying to persecute them and simultaneously burn the country to the ground?”

I want to say I’m sorry to my kids for the hate and policies that may soon be directed at them because of the color of their skin or who they choose to love if we somehow end up with Trump as president.

I’m scared. And I’m sorry.