Crystal Deodorant: a Hippie Conflict

I recently switched over from the armpit cancer causing deodorant to a crystal deodorant that is free of chemicals and other cancer causing shit. And for the most part I really like it. It doesn’t have a smell so it doesn’t conflict with my dirty hippie lotion that I love so much. But it also seems to be making me shave my armpits more, which is where the conflict comes in. I’m not a fan of shaving. I don’t want to shave my legs unless I’m going to the beach or getting lucky. And I don’t like to shave my pits unless it tank top season. And this deodorant is forcing me to do it. I smell more musty when I wear the deodorant and have hairy pits. So now I have been shaving before applying the crystal deodorant, which is taking care of the armpit smell, but did I mention that the crystal is a salt crystal. So I am literally pouring salt in a wound every time I apply it. And you don’t just swipe the crystal deodorant a few times like you do the smell good deodorant. You have to swipe it like 50 times under each pit. The pain was awful the first time. Now it doesn’t bother me because I know it’s coming like that bite from a shot of tequila. After the first one it’s just expected. So I’ve been debating whether to go back to my cancer causing smell good deodorant because I want to be able to hug people  or give them a high five without feeling self conscious or should I stick with the salt in the wound crystal deodorant because it’s better for the environment and my cancer free pits? Or maybe I could find someone to donate some permanent hair removal sessions to me and my problem would be solved! Yes. I will work on that last one.

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