Lebron’s Balls

I was super thankful that we had a few days of nice, cool weather. I’ve been trying to be so natural lately, I stopped using deodorant completely. Only because the crystal stuff didn’t seem to be making too big a difference than when I forgot to put any on at all. Then it got hot. And Holy Mary mother of God, pray for my armpits. Now because they smell like the hour of death. Amen! 

Actually my armpits smelled more like Lebron’s balls after a game. Or what I imagine they smell like. Please don’t ask why I imagine his sweaty balls. If you have to ask, clearly this is the first blog of mine you’ve ever read and you should go back to the beginning just for fun. 

So I’ve been looking for the “natural” alternatives and I haven’t found any yet. I almost went back to the aluminum filled cancer-causing deodorant, thinking if I only use it when it’s hot, I’ve only increased (or decreased depending if your an optimist or a pessimist) my chances for breast cancer by 50%. I don’t like those odds, so I was  walking around questioning the level of offensiveness of my pits hoping that it doesn’t get too hot before I find a suitable alternative to my non-deodorant.

 I want to  try some of that local deodorant that I wanted to get last year at the farmer’s  market, but passed up for no good reason, but then I broke down last week and bought a different kind of crystal deodorant. It’s a roll on and it’s unscented, but it’s better than nothing. Or at least I thought it was until I was out wandering the city on my day off yesterday  and then went to lunch with my friend, the Poet, and when he was dropping me off at the house, I gave him a hug and, Lo and Behold, Lebron’s sweaty balls were back. So now I’m waiting on tomorrow to go to the farmer’s market and get some of the Earthen deodorant that I skipped on last year to see if it is a better alternative than the crystal. And then maybe, just maybe, you all won’t have to read about my sweaty pits anymore. Maybe I can switch it up and post pics of my hairy legs or something. Just kicking around some ideas.


  1. Please find an alternative. I don’t want to smell your sweaty ball armpits when I
    See you. I say this wirh “as open wide” and friendly smile on my face!

    Liked by 1 person

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