Extreme Coupon Override

I currently work retail. At any given moment that could change because I’m rarely satisfied with anything in my life besides the food at my favorite restaurant and how my kids turned out. Other than that, I don’t get attached to much and I don’t stick around if I’m not happy; that goes for relationships and jobs. Needless to say, I have a tendency to change both like a prostitute changes into new panties, but my current lot in life is a retail associate. People come and go. You meet some you like and you meet some who live on your street and roll their eyes at you (See “Call Me Mommy). Some people you have instant chemistry with. Not romantic, but they are just your kind of people. It’s one of the many reasons I like retail because every day is different. And because I get to hit the red button. If you work in retail now, chances are you’ve met some of these extreme coupon people. They have a buggy full of stuff and a stack of coupons taking their total from $135 to $.38. I love these people. I love most of these people. Some of you are just unrealistic assholes, but you know who you are. And then there are the people who just use their coupons and are happy to get $5 off. But sometimes, the register doesn’t want to give them their deal for one reason or another. And there’s this big red “DO NOT TOUCH!” tab that pops up to tell you, the cashier, to stop and see what’s going on. I hate this tab. It is every person in the elevator who told me as a child to not press the stop button. It is every principal I had in elementary, middle, and high saying not to pull the fire alarm. I didn’t even know I had this aversion to authority until I started working retail and saw that I have the power to touch the red tab and override authority. It’s like a big middle finger to all those people who ruined the fun in my younger days. I get so much satisfaction out of pressing that red tab. Your coupon doesn’t want to work? OVERRIDE! You’re coupon is expired? OVERRIDE!! You have a coupon that belongs to your husband’s card? OVERRIDE!!! I’m like the Peter Pan of faulty coupons. Except for those asshole coupon folks who think they are entitled to a deal. I don’t push the button for them. The override button will probably end my retail career but I just can’t stop.

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