When Your Boss is Almost Your Wingman

I asked my boss if he would please hire someone tall dark and handsome for me to work with because I’m surrounded by women. And him. But he doesn’t count because he has a baby mama and babies…in diapers. And he’s young and my boss. So he tells me that it would be a conflict of interest to hire someone just so I would have someone to flirt with and “shack” aka shag aka knock boots aka sleep with. You get the point. I didn’t understand why, but apparently hiring someone just so I can have a boy toy is unethical. And according to him, we would get no work done (because of all the flirting and making out in the stock room, I suppose).  So I asked him if he could just call the tall, dark, and handsome ones in for an interview and then NOT hire them and I can console them with my phone number on the way out. It’s a perfect plan!!! And I’ve almost got him talked into it. Almost.