Every time I have a really long day, I sit down in bed with my computer on my lap and tell myself that this blog is going to be a short one. The irony of that situation is that the more tired I am, the longer the blog seems to be. It doesn’t make any sense. Today was one of those long days and I am not planning on writing a book here. I actually didn’t even have anything weighing on my mind today. Besides work stuff, my mind was completely silent again, which is a good thing for me. Quiet mind = a calm soul. As I was in the shower, though, I started wondering. Do you think it’s possible to have a self realization every day? I’m not sure if I have actually had one every day, but over the last little bit, I have found that I’m realizing things about myself, my behaviors, my actions and just accepting them. I think that is probably a big step in growing. When you can acknowledge your flaws and your faults and just accept them as just being who you are. I know at this point you are probably on the edge of your seat just waiting for me to share what life shattering discovery I made about myself today and it is this….. I love to sweat and I love being barefoot. And there is nothing about what is getting ready to follow that is dirty or sex related. Contrary to what my friends think, I do sometimes think of other things.
So I woke up this morning and I washed the dishes that I had been neglecting and scooped up all the recyclables to take outside. I didn’t have my shoes on. I actually never have my shoes on if I am at home. Not because I’m one of those “take your shoes off at the door” people but my shoes and my bra are usually neck and neck in the race for who is coming off first. Anyway, I went outside to throw the recyclables in the bin and I was barefoot and the grass was dewy wet and soft under my feet. After I tossed everything and was headed into the house, I realized that I just love being barefoot in the grass. There is just something so calming and soothing to me when I am connected to the earth. It’s almost like I feel the physical grounding when I am just standing there with my naked feet. I stood there for a few minutes not moving and just enjoying the moment. At that moment, it was by far my most favorite feeling in the world. Until this evening.
I decided to stay at work this evening to paint this little room in the shop that we are going to be using as an office. Currently, and I may have mentioned this, the office and the shop are in two different places. Or did I mention it? Did I even tell you guys what my new job is? I can’t even remember, but if I didn’t, I am working with a company that fabricates and installs granite countertops. Beautiful affordable granite countertops so if you’re local (Knoxville and Surrounding areas), and you are in the market for a beautiful revamp of your most utilized room(s), let me know. Ok. So shameless plug is over back to business. I stayed to paint the room in the shop. My boss said it was fine even though I think he thought I was a lunatic, but I just wanted to get it done because I am a 100% or a 0% kind of person. I don’t really have an in between, but that’s a topic for another day. Anywho….I was in this room painting the walls different colors, because I was told I can do whatever I want with it by a guy who probably doesn’t make those kinds of decisions but with his verbal permission and my kindergarten taste in color palettes, what could possibly go wrong? The shop is one of those open door/fan kind of places so there’s no central heat and air, which means it was hot as fuck in there today. As soon as I started painting, I started sweating like a whore in church as my mom would say. And that was when my second realization hit me that sweating profusely is almost like being baptized. It’s such a cleansing and refreshing feeling. I was literally soaking wet. My shirt was wet, parts of my jeans were wet. My knees were literally sweating. I knelt on the ground and when I stood up, I could see my wet knee print on the floor. It looked like a big pair of kissy lips just in case you wanted to know. And I sweat. And I sweat. And I sweat some more until I guess my body just eventually cooled itself off. I know it’s weird to appreciate something so trivial as a good sweat but it’s been a while since I’ve sweat like that and it was just the reminder that I needed to give me a swift kick in the butt that I need to start getting out more again and walking the dogs and taking little jogs and working up a sweat in the yard. I need to get busy sweating so I don’t sit around pondering what else I could be doing and then coming up with terrible ideas and then following through with them, because we all know that every one of those terrible ideas involve some man who is terrible for me and I have that 90 day leaf to turn over so I guess I will just find other ways to occupy my mind, my body and my time and maybe spend a little more of it outside barefoot.