Change Subjects Much?

Had another long day today. I painted again at work today. Not all day. Just in the afternoon. There’s one wall I just can’t get right. So to entertain myself, I painted dicks on it and took BJ selfies. Sometimes I’m a twelve year old boy. And then I went to my mom’s house to clean a few things for her that she can’t get to. Like the rug of cat hair under her bed. It made me really thankful for my dog hair. The dog hair just kind of pools in the corners and floats around willy nilly. The cat hair mats onto the floor and makes a rug on top of the actual rug. Thank God for pet hair vacuums. A regular one just would not do. I think I’ve been late getting home every single day this week for one reason or another. There was also apparently a big huge storm today. I missed it on my way back in to Knoxville from Maryville (where I work), but my mom said she lost power and that it was hella raining. So after I got done cleaning her house, I called a friend to give me a ride home and as it turns out, there was a hella storm. There were literally trees down on almost every block from my mom’s house to mine which is about 3 miles or so. I half expected to get home and see a tree in my living room, but then I remembered someone came and cut the part of the tree that would have fallen into the house down. And the dogs were still in the house which means the fence must be fine too. I didn’t check because it was dark, but if there was a way to get out, they would have been gone, but instead they are laying next to me with their sweet little faces.

I feel like my blogs have gotten blah blah blah boring lately since I quit slutting it up. I have nothing exciting to talk about. No love interests. No dirty sex stuff.  No interesting dates. Though I did try to barter to clean my friend’s house in exchange for a horseback riding date or a white water rafting date, but he quickly told me those things cost like $140. I guess that meant it wasn’t worth it. I forgot to tell him he didn’t have to come so it would probably only be half that. I’ll try that angle tomorrow. I really want to go horseback riding, or whitewater rafting, or kayaking or on a hike, or camping, or anything really, with someone who knows how to carry on a conversation. At this point, it doesn’t even have to be a romantic interest. Pretty much anyone would do. Just had a thought…. Maybe, I should let you all hook me up on some blind dates. If nothing else, it would give me something to blog about. Or if you know someone who likes to do the above mentioned things, it doesn’t even have to be a date. They could be gay for all I care. Or blind. Or missing a leg. But not two. I think that would make the whole hiking, horseback riding thing difficult, unless he had some mean prosthetics, then I could totally work with that. Ok, so I guess they could be missing two legs. It won’t really matter in the kayak anyway. I’m desperate for company. I want to call one of those cuddle companies who will send someone to your house to hold you and rock you while you sleep, but apparently those don’t exist in Knoxville and calling random numbers and saying “are you available for spooning tonight?” is just inappropriate and gets you a call back from your local police department. Oops.

On a brighter note, my friend is in town and I haven’t seen her in forever. Her car broke down on the way in so she is so close yet so far away, but I will get to see her this weekend. I’d say there should be a blog or two in there somewhere, but she brought her kids so, I doubt I will be able to get her to relive our youth. And they are still too young for me to tell them about the time it took us a week to get the greasy vomit off the side of her car because drunk us always thought it was a good idea to get a sack of Krystal’s after a night of partying, but maybe she will let me share the story about that one time she was racist and the other time there was a pregnancy scare because of a hand job. I’ll get back to you on that. And you get back to me on the blind date thing.