Hands VS Feet 

I was having a conversation with my boss man today. It started out fairly normal but quickly went askew. He had gotten a cut from the granite he was working with and then he said something along the lines of you can’t expect to have nice hands if you do anything with construction. We were still in the normal part of the conversation here. So I told him that when I went to attempt to fix a stain the day before yesterday, I was using a 27% hydrogen peroxide mix. I wasn’t even thinking about gloves until my fingertips turned white and got all prickly. Like peroxide times ten (because that’s literally what it was). Then he said, you should try it on your feet. And then he corrected himself and said, better yet, I should try a mixture of bleach and something else. I stopped listening at bleach. I asked him why in the world would you want to put bleach on your feet. He said because feet are nasty and the bleach takes off all the dead skin. I believe it probably takes off the living skin too. So I told him that hands are way dirtier than feet. He said because you basically put your feet in the same shoes every day, that makes feet dirty. It was for the same reason, that I thought they were cleaner. After all, when you get out of the shower, you pretty much put your socks on and slip into your shoes. Ergo, your feet are still clean. Your hands touch every thing. Literally. Door knobs, toilet handles, money, telephones, etc. He still insisted that hands were cleaner. When I continued to argue with him about it, he said, if I thought feet were so clean, then I wouldn’t have a problem running my finger between  each toe and then licking my finger. I told him that I would not be able to do that because my hands were too dirty to lick. We went back and forth on it for a while before deciding to agree to disagree on it. Not that I really agreed because I’m pretty certain that most people would side with me on this unless there are a bunch of feet haters. Which could be possible. Later, when we were talking food, I told him my favorite food next to pizza was Mexican. He said his favorite food next to pizza was Asian…..because he likes their  diagonal vaginas (insert emoji of your choice here). No more conversations with him for the day. And I’m still laughing.  Never a dull moment at work.