Another Day Not at the Office

I took the day off from work today. Well, actually, I went in and worked for about two hours before I realized I was too emotional and was not going to get anything accomplished. Plus work is no place to be emotional with your personal shit. I wouldn’t have been such a big bag of emotions, but when I woke up this morning, I called the hospital to check on Joe and see what time his surgery was going to be. He was supposed to have a trach and a feeding tube put in today to get the tubes out of his throat. When I called, they said there was nobody in the room that I was asking about and there was nobody there by that name. When I called the warden, of course, he didn’t answer me. So I sent him a text because he called me from his cell phone or work cell phone. I don’t know but either way, I text him. And he didn’t text me back. So I waited a bit. And then I could feel I was going to lose my shit and start ugly crying all over the place. And believe me. I am an ugly crier. You know the “Rocky….Road” guy from goonies? That’s what I turn into when I start crying. My eyes swell up, I’m snotting everywhere, I’m wiping it on my shoulder, my sleeve, the t shirt sitting in the passenger side of my car, the passenger if I have one, so needless to say, I prefer to do the ugly crying alone. So I left work and bawled all the way home. It was more like half hyperventilating, half crying. I was like an infant. I’ve cried so much over the last few days that my body literally shuts off the crying to yawn like a baby and then lets me resume. So after I got my first crying breakdown out of the way, I called the Tennessee Protection and Advocacy people. They took my information and then called me back an hour later or so to tell me that they were going to do an investigation and they would let me know what they found out. So that was a pretty big win. If they won’t talk to me, maybe they will talk to a lawyer.  During that time, the warden text me back. He didn’t call me, even though I had since left him a voicemail. He text me and said, “All I can tell you is that he is still in the care of the hospital. He has not been moved and to my knowledge, his condition has not changed.” So I replied “why can’t I get information?” at 11:30. At 4:30, I ask how the surgery went. At 4:45 I tried to call but couldn’t leave a message because his voicemailbox was full. So I sent him a text that said “I’ve talked to four different people at that hospital and they all say he isn’t there. I need to know what’s going on.” At 7:20, I get a message telling me that I will need to refer all further correspondence to Dr. So and So at Hospital Such and Such. I guess he’s tired of my persistence. They’ve moved him to the medical hospital, which is on the same compound as the prison that his brother is in. So maybe they will let him go visit. Though I highly doubt it because, God forbid, they treat these people like humans. At least I know where he is now, but it seems like, if I am his emergency contact and they know that I am concerned, they would have at least let me know something maybe four hours earlier? Maybe I’m asking too much to be informed. I bet if I hadn’t gone to see his brother, he probably still wouldn’t know. I don’t know why the system is so fucked. Yes, they did stupid shit when they were in their twenties. Lots of us did. It just didn’t send us to prison. They are still people. Genuinely good people.  They were thieves and drug dealers, not rapists and murderers. Actually, I know a murderer who got less time than my friend. I was married to his son. He will be out of jail before Joe is even scheduled to be released. That’s the world we live in. So, even though the outlook is bleak, I’m not ready to lose hope or throw in the towel. I’m prepared to fight for him until the end whether that’s tomorrow or twenty years from now. Prayers would be greatly appreciated at this point. Whatever you believe in, I need that for my friend. Thanks all.