From the Inside (HH)

I mentioned that I was going to be posting some guest blogs on here. I’m still working out the format and how to get enough to fill a slot every week. I was going to post this on Sunday, but I think for the next little bit, if she is up to it, I will be posting a guest blogger on Sundays, except for today. I’m trying to talk her into starting her own blog, but until that happens, she will be here. So without further ado…. I’d like to introduce Healing Hearts (HH) to you. Depression blogger. Survivor Blogger. Mom Blogger. Life Blogger.

To Start off….. A Poem……

 

Sometimes late at night

My eyes don’t want to close

My head feels jumbled with thoughts

I can’t get rid of all of these woes

 

Waking up is as close to torture as I can imagine

What if I wake up and something tragic happens

 

I want to be normal for all those around

But the thoughts in my brain can’t turn off the sound

 

I look at all the people with smiles on their face

Is it an act I often wonder but they all seem content no matter the place

 

Could I be the only one who feels

all alone

How could each and every happy feeling be so far gone

 

I would give up all my worldly goods

If I could wake up and feel those happy moods

 

The suffering is often too much to bare

How could a person with so much love in her life just not care

 

My friends are abundant and love me no matter what

Is what I have to offer enough when mostly I live my life like a robot

 

I am tired of only existing in a world that has so much to give

I want to not just exist but I want to fully live

 

I want to know my purpose and gift

There has to be something that can make my world shift

 

Medication after medication has made me so tired

Some make me numb and some make me wired

 

I want a life filled with unlimited joys

That is what I owe to my beautiful little boys

 

My spirit was damaged as a child experiencing fear, uncertainty, and loss of love

My brain was trying to develop but couldn’t rise above

 

This journey I am traveling is long and hard…..making me perpetually tired

I wish the person who did this had known he would destroy the way by brain is wired

 

I have so many beautiful and caring people that are my true friends

No matter how many phone calls I ignore or how distant I am , they never make me feel unloved or like I have to make amends

 

I didn’t wake up one day and choose to be this way

My circumstances in life led me astray

 

I am finally on my way to healing

I wouldn’t wish my worst enemy to suffer this feeling

 

Mental illness is real, painful, exhausting and so hard to cope with

Although most people fail to realize your brain is an organ and depression etc. is a myth

 

If you or someone you know is struggling and doesn’t know where to turn

There are tons of resources that can help you learn

 

The first step to getting better is admitting that something is wrong

Knowing you have to get help so you don’t suffer too long

 

Many people might say that you are weak because day to day life makes it hard to cope

But in reality you are stronger than those people because you are still here and even with all the pain and sadness you somehow manage to wake up and hold on for hope.

 

Don’t ever give up, you are not alone.

Have someone help you to find resources and pick up the phone.

You are worth it.

God made you beautiful.

Healing is possible.

Don’t give up, it takes time.

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