The New (old) Me

Started my day off on a positive note. I took Mel to school and then went for a run. Well, more like a rawk.. (half run, half walk), but thirty minutes of exercise is thirty minutes of exercise. Especially since I’ve been doing nothing but sitting on my ass writing for the last six months. I told you about the tight pants. Didn’t I? I swear the only time they are comfortable is after I’ve worn them for a week or more without washing them. Then, and only then, do they start to fit. So instead of going to the store to buy a new (bigger) pair, I decided to just drop the 10 pounds or so I put on by being stagnant. Not to mention, I abso-fucking-lutely hate shopping. Probably more than I hate online dating. And you all know how much that is. I’m still officially off the D (that’s dick for you newbies). I’ve stopped texting everyone. Except my platonics.. the poet and the rasta. They are my surrogate boyfriends without the sex. I get to spend time with someone I like, have good conversation, they support me in my dreams, I get fed, and if push came to shove, I could and would (because I already have) sleep with one of them…. But I’m trying to replace my need for D with exercise. So I guess I will be working out daily. That was a joke for my friend  who thinks I have a sex problem. I think she has one too… in that she doesn’t have enough of it. We just keep agreeing to disagree.

I ate pretty awesome all day. I won’t run down my menu, but if I were counting calories, I would say that it is safe to assume that I ate less calories (by far) than I usually do and maybe even less than I should have. I finished off the night with a plate full of green veggies (from the pic). I also had a spoonful of ice cream. Not real ice cream. Almond ice cream. It’s a nondairy version. I’m trying to steer myself away from dairy. Maybe not eggs, but definitely milk products because they are my weakness. Cheese is like a secret lover just waiting in the wings calling my name. And every single time, I answer… and then I hate myself for being so weak. So I’m trying to steer clear of ice cream and cheese. Between Ben & Jerry and Colby Jack, I’m a sucker for love. I guess you could say I’ve broken up with them too.

I wish I knew a psychiatrist who could tell me if quitting all your vices at once is a good thing. But really, I guess I’ve been weaning for a while. The men have slowly been fading because I realized in this strange plot twist, that I am pretty amazing and I have a lot of good shit to offer (if I decided to offer it to someone ever) and since I’m not really trying to be in a relationship or trying to offer myself up just yet because I’m working on my plan of world domination, then not only is it a terrible idea to even think about dating, but it’s selfish of me to put someone in a position to try to win me over when I already won myself over. Not that any of these slacking mother fuckers are going out of their way to be man of the year, because then, who knows.  But as long as I keep attracting half asses, then it’s pretty easy to cut them off.

Dairy…. that’s different. Dairy has always been good to me. It’s always there. When I feel bad. When I’m crying. When I want to eat. When I’m celebrating. Dairy is ALWAYS there. It never lets me down…  But, I really love these jeans and I don’t want my fat hanging over the top of them. I want to be able to wear my awesome fitting t shirts (I’m kind of a collector of awesome t shirts) and be comfortable and not self conscious that my pants are a size too small. And you can only wear sweat pants so many times before you look like you’ve given up on life. Plus, I saw myself on snapchat the other day before taking a picture and I think there were no less than 2 extra chins. It’s just not worth the cheese…

So I’m just going to continue staying busy being amazing to the people in my daily life (you guys) and I’m not going to worry about those that only bother coming around or texting or calling when they are bored or have a hard dick.

Welcome to my new world…. or is it the old me???

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