As a mom of a couple millennials, I have decided to give my motherly advice to all of you. Not that I’m all that maternal, just go with it. You are blamed for being lazy, entitled, fond of instant gratification and more often than not, you are miserable. You are made fun of for wanting to be “happy” at work. You only have to open your phone to see a viral post or twitter status about how you people are ruining America with your grandeur plans to change the world. And how dare you think that you have anything to offer besides punching a clock from 9-5? The nerve.
You were told you could be anything you wanted when you grew up. Your creativity was accepted and even encouraged. Apparently, that is the problem with you guys today. Your parents should have shown you, tough love. They shouldn’t have instilled any ideals in you that might force you or encourage you to dream about finding your true passion. They should have just pushed you into the blue collar work they were used to or into the family business. They should have groomed you to be miserable. But instead, apparently we groomed you to want more and when you don’t get it, you get depressed and you kill yourselves. Or you drown your sorrows in copious amounts of Ciroc and meth. According to people who aren’t millennials, the world is going to hell in a handbasket and you all are to blame. And I just want to say one thing about all of that (maybe two).
Fuck everyone right up their stupid asses. (Kevin Smith paraphrase)
I know that you all enjoy the instant gratification of being able to get on Amazon today and answer the door tomorrow with whatever new contraption you ordered to make yourself happy. I enjoy it too. I know you feel naked without a phone in your hand and that’s why there’s not a phone in this country that hasn’t been in every barroom bathroom and office bathroom in America. I take my phone to the shitter too. You all were basically born into the shittiest time in American history. Fuck retirement. You won’t be able to retire. You will die at your desk because you won’t be able to afford retirement. You’re lucky if you get a job that pays more than minimum wage, but it doesn’t matter how much it pays, chances are, you are still going to be working for some dickhole who has no common sense, business sense, or bedside manner and he will think he’s the smartest thing in the world because he is your immediate supervisor. And you will have to smile and eat the daily shit because you need the job. You need the money. Why? Because you are paying your way through this world, most likely without any help from your parents. People only hear you all complaining. They fail to see the fact that you all are putting yourselves through school. You are buying houses at 25. There are people my age (42) who still haven’t bought their first house. You are listening to that little voice inside you that says, “there has got to be more to life than this.” And you are going out and you are finding it. I’m sure the hippies of the 1970s were ruining America back then too, but I just want to say, in case nobody has told you all lately, you’re doing great.
I actually think you will be the generation that turns this country around. You’ve already worried the hell out of the restaurant industry because you’re opting to eat at home. You’re opting to be healthy. You’ve boomed the home brew beer business by patronizing your local breweries who are being run by people just like you. You’ve started taking your life into your own hands by refusing to settle even if you are temporarily miserable. You will be the generation who decides that you will not work for a company that treats people like shit, you will just start your own companies. You will find your passion and you will find a way to make money at it. You will surround yourself with people you want to be around, not people you are obligated to be around. You will become the president you want to see us have. You will make a difference. I just know it.
Life is hard. Relationships are hard. Work is hard. Working for someone while dreaming of what you really want to do is hard. You are not alone. There are a bunch of us who are rooting for you. We are here to help you. With advice. With ideas. With the reality of how much it can really suck sometimes, but you are not alone.
So the next time you scroll across an article or a twitter status about how you and your generation are just a bunch of entitled brats go ahead and give them the big fuck you. I give you permission because I say you are doing great!!!
Your Other Mother
Interesting. I worked with a stereotypical millennial for the last year, who happened to send a YouTube video around – a TED talk – where the speaker invited millennials to blame their own parents for the hard time they think they are having. I got talking to him about it, and he ended up agreeing with me – that if people put as much effort into becoming accountable as they do into finding excuses (and this includes everybody – not just millennials), the world would be a very, very different place.
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Yes! It is not just millennials.