Well, I said I was going to get out of my funk today. And I guess for the most part I have. I meditated for no less than three hours today. I started to mow the backyard, but the rain had other plans. So I stopped and went and sat by the river and meditated some more. Yes, CJ, at some point in all of that, I did, in fact, shower.
I think I found a solution to my problem of having to get a “real job.” And I think that solution is just never sleeping again. I’m going to apply for a third shift job. I can stay up all night. Still get my kid to all his basketball activities during the day and I guess sleep somewhere in the middle there when I can. I’ll be able to write at my peak creative times still and I am going to get these books together to get them all on Amazon in the next two weeks so if you want to support my art, I will keep you posted and give you some links soon.
I’m not sure how much of a solution to my problems that is going to be, but if history has taught me anything it is that I’ve got this. I’ve been in way worse positions many many many times. So I can definitely dig myself out of this one. Maybe even without having to sell my soul to the devil. But I’m keeping my options open.
It’s funny, because earlier, I was thinking to myself, “life shouldn’t be this difficult.” And then I had to laugh, because this is quite literally the easiest my life has ever been over the last year. Not financially easy, because it’s been a struggle, but as it turns out struggling doesn’t actually matter if you are happy in every other area of your life. Struggling only matters when you hate what you are doing AND you are struggling.
Likewise, having plenty of money won’t make you happy if you hate what you are doing, which is probably where I will be sitting for the next year. But I’ve only given myself a year to work for someone else and I’ve made a commitment to myself to keep writing. I know I said that working will hinder my writing. But I am going to try desperately hard to keep that from happening.
So my plan is to just smile. Keep saying that everything is fine. Drink extra water. And meditate for as long as I can each day until I get it figured out.
So I guess I’m going to meditate some more right now so I keep this positivity going. Tomorrow is going to be a long day with more traveling with my kiddo (an hour away this time, not three so that’s good) and lot’s of basketball, that eventually I will become a fan of.
Until then… Do what you love….
RouletteWeekend 