I had breakfast with Nate the Great. We usually go to breakfast or dinner once a week. We’ve been doing this for a while. Ever since we realized that we were not going to be romantically successful. But we are pretty good platonic friends. There are a great many reasons why we didn’t work. The first would probably be that I didn’t really give him a fair shake if I’m being perfectly honest. The day I met him was also the day that the universe put flea market guy back in my life. And because I’ve loved Flea Market Guy since January 20, 2018 (but who’s counting?), Nate the Great and I were doomed from the start.
To spare you having to go back and try to locate all the Nate the Great blogs, here’s the Cliff’s notes version.
Met Nate the Great on Plenty of Fish. He had a lot of the same characteristics as Flea Market Guy and I can say with all honesty that I was, in fact, comparing. He was tall, bald, not bad looking, skinny, employed, no children, lives alone and to top it all off, he wasn’t an alcoholic. We had good conversation and Nate the Great was more than ready for a relationship. But there was no magic. No chemistry. No… nothing. We were just ok.
I’m sure lots of relationships are based on just OK. And I’m also sure those are the ones that last a lifetime because you never have to worry about losing the magic. And I would have probably been able to carry on with him if it weren’t for two things. Thing number one was the way Flea Market Guy looks at me and says my name. He’s one of the very few people in my past who sees into my dusty soul and doesn’t judge me. I’m sure it’s because it goes both ways. And thing two was Nate the Great got upset at me and called off us seeing each other over something that was easily explained after he finally told me he was mad about it. Basically, I asked him to grab my charger out of my bag and he found a condom. And instead of asking if it was for us or what it was for, he was in his feelings and thought I was doing dirty things to other people. Which, it wouldn’t have mattered if I was because we weren’t “official” but also, it was an immature way to handle the situation and it ruined it for me. If I had a dick, it would have immediately been soft. But we pushed through and ended up on the side of being friends.
He’s still on Plenty of Fish where we met. I’m not. So he’s still going on dates. I’m not. I’m just hanging out with Flea Market Guy, which he hates. He is not Flea Market Guy’s biggest fan. He’s the opposite. Never a nice thing to say about him, so we opt to not talk about him, because like siblings and best friends, I’m the only one allowed to talk shit about Flea Market Guy. Nobody else can, even if it’s true. So I listen to Nate the Great tell me about his dating debacles. And I feel really bad because he is a nice guy and does deserve to find someone to be happy with. I think we all do. I’m just not that person for him.
So, as I do with all my single guy friends, I listen to him bitch and complain about dating. Things usually go good for a while and then they tank. It goes the same for women. That’s why I pretty much stopped dating. At least I know what I’m getting with Flea Market Guy. I know when I’m going to be disappointed. And sometimes, I even get to be surprised by his dependability. But the dating scene is too full of disappointments. So I usually pass on that.
I don’t even have a dating profile any more. Flea Market Guy does. And that’s why I don’t take him seriously. He also has numerous women that he texts and messages. I dare not speculate all the psychological reasons why. Instead, I just enjoy the time we spend together and when we aren’t together I just do my own thing and don’t worry about what he may or may not be doing. Because if history has taught me anything, it is that every man I’ve ever dated (or in his case not dated) figures out after it is too late that they should have kept me around. And I doubt this story will end any differently despite how much I’d like a happy ending.
I think Nate the Great wishes our story had ended differently, but at least we both got a friend out of the deal. And I think friendships usually last longer than romantic relationships anyway. No matter how unlikely the friendships are.