Too Early To Tell

I don’t usually remember my dreams when I have them and I don’t remember the last time I had what I would call an actual nightmare. If I had to guess, I would say it was 20 years ago when I was pregnant. I had the same dream with all my kids. I think all pregnant women have it, or at least I’ve convinced myself they do. You’re looking down at your lovely pregnant belly when all of a sudden the baby decides it wants to come out, but not the usual way. It wants to rip its way out of the front of your belly and before you know it you can see the outline of their face and their hands pushing out of your body. I always woke up before they actually got out, but to me, that was as close to a nightmare as I ever remember having.

Last night, I dreamed I was working, doing property inspections, which we quit doing 2 days ago. I was at a house talking to a lady and for some reason, I was inside her house, which is not part of the job and she didn’t know that I was doing an inspection. That’s the weird thing about dreams, things are never the same as real life. She lived in this really big, beautiful house with a 8ft tall privacy fence around the whole thing. After we got done talking, she was getting ready to leave and left me in a room alone. I was looking out the window to figure out which pictures I would take on the way out with her and this doll was sitting in the chair of this laundry room across the hall looking at me. It was like those cute little antique dolls except this one was big (think Annabelle). The doll got out of the chair and started walking toward me holding something out. The closer it got, the more freaked out I got. I started to yell something to it, like, “don’t come any closer” or some other stupid phrase that a possessed doll would never listen to. As I was yelling, the dolls head disappeared and a rush of wind went into my mouth.

The rush of wind felt so real it woke me up. I was shaking and rolled over to wake FMG up.

As I told him my dream, he halfway listened and halfway stayed asleep like I do when he tells me his dreams in the middle of the night. I vowed to try harder to wake up and listen next time, because talking to a sleeping person when you are freaked out is really annoying.

I laid in the bed trying to make my heart slow down. I looked at my watch. It was only 1am. I had only been asleep for 3 hours. The dream seemed like it took up 2.5 hours of it.

As I laid in bed, I thought of all the things that may have gone into my body that were not possessions. Maybe it was a gust of confidence so I’ll stop being so scared of taking risks. Maybe it was a gust of creativity so I will be able to sit down and write that book this month. Maybe it was a gust of consistency so I will finally be able to set a daily schedule and stick to it. Or maybe, I am going to start spitting up pea soup and yelling, “your mother sucks cock in hell” at my sister when she comes to see if I want to go to Friday night queso.

It’s too soon to tell, I guess.

Either way, dreams are weird. I don’t feel possessed today, but I don’t know what being possessed feels like. I also don’t know how long something like that would take. I did watch the beginning of Annabelle last week, so maybe my subconscious was doing something with that. FMG has been stressed about quitting inspections, so maybe my soul was feeding off his. Or maybe I shouldn’t have had chai tea before bed. I guess it could be anything.

I’m not much for dream interpretation. All I can do is speculate. I am open to suggestions or exorcisms.

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