The Real Beginning

Fear is a funny thing. I remember when I was in my teens, someone said, “If you could wake up tomorrow and have everything you ever wanted, would you?” I don’t know who came up with that saying but I think it may be the scariest thing I’ve ever heard. For as  long as I can remember, I have wanted to be a writer. I love writing. I love everything about the written and spoken word. I love books. I love the way they smell. I love the way they feel. I love the way they taste. Just kidding about that last part. I’m a little more evolved than that. But I will admit that I did recently lick a book. But only because it was Jenny Lawson’s Furiously Happy and she talked about edible monkey glitter a couple of times and the cover had glitter on it and I thought if anyone was going to make a flavored book cover, it would probably be her because she is brilliant. But the cover tasted more like the dead squirrel on the cover than yummy edible monkey glitter. You win some and you lose some. But back to what I was saying. Fear. I’ve always had this fear that I was not a good enough writer. Or maybe I wasn’t funny enough. Or maybe I wasn’t smart enough or maybe I didn’t have anything to say that anyone would want to read, but then I always remember that quote and I think, I will never have everything I want if I don’t work for it because chances are I am not going to wake up tomorrow and be a successful writer who gets to work from home naked while drinking tea if I don’t start writing. I’ve blogged here and there for a while and it’s super sporadic when I do write. So I’ve resolved to start writing more often. Hopefully a couple times a week or daily because I’m sure there is something I can write about. I mean, I ride the city bus on a regular basis. I could probably start a blog called “The Shit People Say on the Bus” or a blog called “The Smell on This Bus Might Be Shit.” But maybe I will just give those topics a cameo appearance every once in a while. My point is, nothing comes easy or free so I’m going to stop being scared and nervous and I’m going to just do it. Like that one time that guy said “C’mon, be like Nike and just do it.” Except he was talking about sending him a picture of my boobs. But it was encouraging, so I did it… And now I’m going to do this.