Mother’s Day Isn’t My Thing 

I’m not one of those people who likes to kill other’s joy, especially not on holidays, but Mother’s Day, like most other holidays, just isn’t really my thing. I love my mom. She gave birth to me. She raised me the best way she could and now I’m an adult. I don’t feel compelled to call her and tell her Happy Mother’s Day. I will, because it is expected of me, by her. And her feelings would be hurt if I didn’t, but I’ve never understood why we are conditioned to make such a big deal out of it. People don’t become mothers to be praised. And honestly, I don’t think you should be praised. You decided to have and keep your children. Now you have one job. Be a fucking mother. It’s a thankless job, but it’s the one you signed up for. You signed up for dirty diapers, temper tantrums, middle school angst, high school rebellion, and college shenanigans. Those are all part of the package. Flowers, cards and candy, although nice, are not part of the package. If you want to be grateful for your parents, do it daily. For example, my thanks to my mom is answering her when she calls me seventy times a day. Sure I give her the talk about calling when she doesn’t want anything and she is just bored but I answer because how many times when I was a kid did I yell, “mom,” and not want anything but a glass of water or swirlies drawn on my arm so I could sleep? So I answer almost every time she calls. But when I don’t answer, I don’t feel bad. That’s just life. And as far as my own kids go, yes, I am guilty of trying to milk Mother’s Day for my own selfish purposes. Just this year I tried to get a plane ticket to Florida and a ticket to a KyMani Marley show under the guise of Mother’s Day, but it was mostly in jest. If I had succeeded, I would have definitely gone but I don’t want my kids to feel pressured to get me anything. I don’t even want them to feel like they have to call me. Especially the older two who are grown and living their lives. They don’t owe me any thanks. I gave birth to them. That was my job. Maybe I didn’t do so great all the time but I didn’t do too bad, but either way, no thanks is necessary. I think we should give Mother and Father’s Day to people who are choosing to raise kids they don’t have to. Those are the real heroes. Step parents who have stepped in for an absentee parent. Friends who have taken it upon themselves to get involved in a kid’s life because their dad isn’t around or a man who married a woman that raises his kid as if it were her own. Those are the people who should get flowers and candy and cards, people who are choosing to take on someone else’s responsibility. Not those of us who made the choice to have kids. And especially not those who are only parents when it’s convenient for them. I don’t see the point in celebrations for something you should already be doing. It’s all a marketing ploy anyway. Christmas, Easter, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day. They are all just ways to make more money for big corporations by brainwashing us into spending our guilt away. And I don’t buy into it. If you are one of those people that loves Mother’s Day and all that comes with it, I’m happy for you. I wouldn’t tell a kid there’s no Santa Clause and I wouldn’t take away another woman’s joy over Mother’s Day, but for me, it’s just no big deal.

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