Reality TV

Very rarely do I ever sit around thinking, “man, I wish I had a marketable skill.” Today, however, as I called lawyer after lawyer and got basically the same numbers in dollars and cents, I started thinking, “why was I never a stripper?” Stage fright and pink eye, I guess is the answer. I guess I could have been a masseuse, but I only want to touch the people I want to touch, so I guess that’s out too. I could have been a painter, but I can only make pictures look like pictures when I am copying someone else or taking a class so that’s out. I once thought about trying to get into the card writing business, but not the lovey hallmark-ish stuff, more like “Hey, so your day didn’t turn out as planned, at least you didn’t find your husband in bed with another man,” and then you open up and it says, “ooh, my bad, let’s have a drink.” Or something like that. I didn’t really ever work out the kinks. I guess that’s why I don’t have my own “NOTmark” line of cards. I do have a small stockpile of hula hoops I made sitting in my room, but I’ve not finished them and there’s not enough to raise $3000 sitting there anyway. So I haven’t quite figured out how I am going to get a lawyer to help me with the situation I need help with, but I’ve pretty much decided that doing something illegal to get legal help would be a terrible idea. Not that I’ve ever broken a law in my life that didn’t involve a speed limit, but if I were ever going to be tempted, it would be now, which is kind of ironic that I would break the law to help a guy who is in jail for breaking the law. Eh, maybe it’s not that ironic. Maybe I could get a reality tv show. We could call it the 40 year old stripper. Or maybe that  whole lottery thing will work out tonight, but you gotta play to win or so I hear. Either way, I’m still brainstorming and I am trying so hard to remain positive but the system is so fucked that sometimes it’s really a chore. And I want to have faith all the way around, but like I’ve said before, the system is not designed to help you succeed. It’s designed to keep you exactly where you are. That’s why it’s called a system. So I guess I will just head to bed and pray to wake up with a brilliant idea or a bucket full of money next to my bed. Or both.