A Time to Rebuild 



a comparison between two things, typically for the purpose of explanation or clarification.


Relationships are kind of like construction. Sometimes it takes an explosion. The old structure has to be knocked completely down and disposed of before you can even think of rebuilding a better one. You wouldn’t build a second floor apartment on a burned out first floor. And I think that in the majority of my relationships, after the demolition has occurred, looking at the emptiness left in its place is just too difficult for me. Just the thought of having to bend down and pick up the rubble and throw it away starts to stress me out. Maybe I’m lazy and I don’t like the gruntwork of a fallen relationship. But I’ve had this relationship that has been like an impossible remodel. When I first laid eyes on it, it was perfect. And I bought it, moved in, and then started noticing all the things that were wrong with it.  And then I got frustrated. And every time something broke, I wanted less and less to fix it. Dripping faucet. Left it. Broken stair. Left it. Broken window. Left it. Eventually my dream relationship started to look like the only blighted property on the block. And I eventually left it to sit there and waited for it to fall down. But then a funny thing started to happen. Right around the time that the paint started peeling and the siding was blowing off and I thought the damage was irreparable, I realized, for some crazy reason, I love this damn house. So I started fixing the things I let go and it started to feel like home again. And even though it’s not the house anyone thinks I should be living in, it’s the one that makes me comfortable and happy most of the time. And like every other decision I get to make as an adult, good or bad, it is ultimately my decision and I will be the only one with buyer’s remorse if it doesn’t work out. 

I guess my point is, everything takes work. I know I have a tendency to want to romanticize things and I know I have a tendency to always look at things through rose colored lenses, but I’m ok with that. I think things should be romantic. I think everyone should own a pair of rose colored glasses. More importantly, I think some things are just worth it moreso than others. Love is patient, right? I’m practicing patience right now. And practice makes perfect. Or so they say. 

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