Wisdom in All It’s Glory

I found a grey hair yesterday. Well, actually, yesterday was not the first time I saw it. The first time I noticed it, though,  it was subtle like a highlight from a day at the beach. Yesterday, there was a brightly glaring strand of wisdom popping up out of my scalp. I examined it carefully in the mirror and debated plucking it right out of my head at that moment, but the more I looked at it, the more I realized, that hair isn’t bothering anyone, least of all me. Plus, don’t you get like 34 more grey hairs if you pull one out? Maybe I’m exaggerating, but I certainly don’t want to be grey all over. I don’t even like that there is a trendy new hairdo these days where girls, young girls, are dying their hair that gawd awful greyscale color. They kind of look like a cross between a senior citizen and an anime character. I don’t want to look like a ninety year old from behind. Seriously, how would I ever get fucked then? If I go grey naturally, I guess I’ll be ok with it.

That one grey strand wasn’t near as traumatic on my head as it was when I found those few grey strands in my lady garden last year. That was a bummer. Salt and pepper p*ssy, not so flattering, but I already wrote about that. Back to the wisdom shining glaringly bright on my head. I think I will leave it for now. No need to wash that grey right out of my head just yet. Plus, when the light hits it just right, it’s like a fantastic reminder of all the things I’ve lived through that didn’t kill me, like raising kids, and these damn dogs every time the mail man tries to deliver, and every failed relationship that I was so much a part of, every broken down car, every flat tire, ever stupid decision I ever made, ever time I got food poisoning, every time I cried until I couldn’t produce another single tear, every panic attack I’ve ever had sitting on the side of the road in my car because I wasn’t safe to drive, every time I ever hurt someone’s feelings and sat feeling guilty for days until I could muster up the courage to apologize like a decent human being, every late night binge drink I ever took, every hang over I ever had, every love I ever lost, every dream that was ever shattered, every lottery ticket that wasn’t a winner, every stubbed toe and broken bone, every scar on my hands and arms from burning myself reaching into the oven cooking for someone I love, every class I ever failed, every time I had to force myself to look in the mirror and admit my shame, every time I had to force myself to throw the covers off and get out of bed instead of spiraling into a depression, every workout I meant to do but didn’t, every workout I proudly did, every time I ever lost myself for someone one else, every time I ever stood up for what I thought was right even when the people who claim to love me thought it was ok to laugh about it, every step back I ever took when all I wanted was to move forward. There are so many reasons I should be completely grey. So maybe I will keep that one little shining reminder right where it is so I don’t forget all the things I’ve lived through that made me who I am today, because I’m finally starting to like that person.

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