Courage

I’ve been reading this book. It’s called Courage: The Joy of Living Dangerously by Osho. I’m not very far into it, just a few pages because I’ve been reading and re-reading the same thing over and over. Not because I’m forgetting what was previously said, but because I want to memorize it and burn it into my brain. Every. Single. Word.  It’s not about living dangerously like jumping out of airplanes with a parachute that may or may not work, it’s about being afraid and embracing it. So far what I’ve taken away from this book is that most things in life do not cause us fear. We don’t fear getting up every day, getting into our cars, driving to the same job (though we may dread it, that’s not fear), do the same thing over and over every day, get off at the same time, go home and do the same things before bed and then get up tomorrow and do it all over again. There is no questioning what tomorrow will look like. There is no uncertainty to cause you fear. This book is basically saying uncertainty is good. Fear is good. It’s what God (or whatever you believe in) wants you to do.  There’s way more to it than that, and like I said I’m only a few pages in, but this book gave me the encouragement to do something scary. I met with an investor today about an idea that I have for a small business that I want to start. It’s not my coffee shop/ bookstore/ Panini shop. That would have taken way too much money with way too much risk and lets face it, nobody is really getting rich off a coffee shop except Starbucks. Not that I have ruled it out completely. I’ve just put it on the backburner until I can come up with the capital on my own. My other idea will cost much less to start up and the return on the investment should be pretty immediate. And the conversation was scary, but I had done my research. I made valid points even when he questioned why something like it would be good in the spot that I want to put it in, I was able to rattle off 3 great reasons.  I’m not going to lie, I was fairly certain I was going to be shot down immediately, but, to my surprise, he told me he was going to do a little research of his own and  get back to me next week. I’ve got to admit that I am pretty stoked.  I know you all thought I was kidding when I said I really don’t want to get another “job.” I wasn’t. I can’t bear the thought of working on another man’s dream. I’m done with it. If this doesn’t pan out, I will try something else, and something else, and something else until I finally  find what it is I am supposed to be doing, but what I will not do, is work for another  idiot “boss” who thinks he has all the best ideas when in reality, he’s just too proud to listen to a better one. I’m not saying that I’m super  smart or anything, well, ok, I am, actually. I am super smart, but I’m also logical and a critical thinker and I’m not too proud to admit when someone has a better idea than me. That’s why I’ve always been a terrible “boss” but a great leader. It’s also why I’ll probably start my own cult one day. I’m just ironing out those details. Seriously, though, I did something that terrified me, but  it may work out after all. I will be sure to keep you posted next week. And if things move forward, I imagine it will be at supernova speed and you will see a happier version of me than you’ve ever seen before. I know you’re all dying to know what it is, but if I share it here, someone with more money might steal my space and my idea and I just can’t tolerate another heartbreak. So until I hear back from Mr. Investor, I shall not speak of it again. Just send some prayers or good vibes my way…. Please and Thanks!!