With Mother’s day being yesterday, I thought I would let you all in on a little secret I’ve been keeping from you. Recently, I started working on my first piece of non-fiction writing. I mean, aside from this blog. This is as non-fiction as it gets. But if you were in a literature class, however, the teacher would likely tell you to question everything because a first person perspective is not one that should be trusted. I always have that in the back of my mind when reading first person narratives. I’m always thinking, “do I like this person enough to trust them or are they a fucking liar?” And then I realize, I do the same thing in real life. But, I’m off track. So I decided to write a non-fiction piece and I was wracking my brain about what I could write about that I was really good at. I know, you’re thinking I’m writing a sex book, right? That would be a good guess, but I’m currently keeping the sex talk in the fictional piece I’m working on right now. Yes, I am working on two. No, neither of them is the sequel to my first book, but I will be getting there. I am feeling really writing motivated lately. Anyway, the book I’m working on is a parenting book, but not the kind of book that you pick up that was written by people with a PhD and no kids. It’s more like a handbook, from a “non-traditional” professional. I know there is some debate about whether you are an expert after completing 10,000 hours of something, but I’ve done the math, which is not my strong suit, but if I am correct, I’ve completed 210,240 hours of parenting. Half of that as a young mom. I got the idea because the other day, I was picking my kid up from school. High school. As I was standing in the office, this older lady walked in with a baby on her hip. She was signing out the baby’s mother, who was probably in the same grade as my son, ninth. I signed my kiddo out and went to the car. I was sitting in the car waiting for Mel when the girl and the lady with the baby walked out. The lady handed the baby to the girl and proceeded to pull out two garbage bags, a diaper bag, a pack of diapers, and a car seat. Then she politely got in the car and backed out leaving this little girl in the middle of the parking lot with her baby and all her stuff. I got out of the car, thinking she was going to burst into tears at any moment, and I asked the girl if she was ok and if I could do anything to help. Her only response was, “can you help me take all this stuff in to the office?” Mel was there by that point and he grabbed all her bags and followed her in while I waited in the parking lot thinking to myself, “what the fuck just happened?”
Then I thought back to when I was a teen mom and all the stupid things I did that turned out to not ruin my kids, thank goodness. And I thought about all the books I read by all these “professionals” that never said anything about, “you may get left holding the baby, literally. What to do if that happens.” It never said anything about, “it’s ok to cry yourself to sleep. That doesn’t mean you are weak or a bad mom.” And about a million other things that I had to figure out on my own because all the books tell you is the pretty side of mothering and they never tell you the side of mothering that involves changing diapers at 5:30am and just falling back to sleep before your school alarm goes off. It doesn’t mention being the youngest parent in a room full of (what I considered) old people when your kid starts kindergarten and all the parents are 20 years older than you and established. So many things it doesn’t mention. So I decided to put a little book together to mention those things, in the enlightening way I like to mention everything, with a twist of sarcasm and an occasional “fuck.” I’m very close to finishing it. I’ve been writing on it frantically. I’m going to self publish it. Mostly because it seems like everyone is pregnant right now and they are all under 25, so they need it now. Plus, I’m running out of money to live on and I’ve finally found my writing groove. Getting a 9-5 is going to put a major cramp in my writing schedule, as will panhandling, so I’m crossing my fingers on this.
Oh, I’m also taking questions and comments. Either here (in the comments section) or you can email them to me at email@example.com.