Alien Abductions and Cows with Pets

I finally made it back from Florida. Just in the nick of time, too. There is a tropical storm where I was staying and there is all rain and no sunshine. That would make for a not-so-fun stay in Florida. All I could think about the last day I was there was about the house across the lake from my aunt’s house that rents for $20k a week. Yeah, you read that right twenty thousand dollars. It’s a big house. You could probably easily fit 20 people in it at $1000 a pop, but still a lot of money to pay to sit in that house for a week of tropical storms. Or maybe I just think that. My ride was rainy pretty much all the way home and my GPS was a dickhole. I told my cousin I would stop by his house on my way home. It was four hours to his house. Five hours to mine from his…. if my Waze would have taken me on an interstate, but it did not. Apparently, my navigational app thought I wanted to take the scenic route and drive through every back road and “holler’ on the way. (Note: Hollow, a small valley, as commonly pronounced in Appalachia as “holler”). So my four hour drive took five hours. It really seems to be the way of things when I travel. I’m not sure if I am just easily distracted by taking pictures or if I am abducted by aliens and probed for an hour before being set back out on my journey. Either way, I never get anywhere at the time my GPS originally says. I always lose an hour somewhere. On a stranger note than abduction, as I was driving, I passed a pasture full of cows. As I was coming up on it, I noticed that almost all the cows had a white feed bag or something hanging from it’s grazing neck.  I’ve seen a lot of cows in my day. I mean, I haven’t seen enough to know whether a cow is a meat cow or a milk cow, but I’ve seen cows and never have I seen a cow with a white bag hanging off it’s neck. It looked gourd shaped from where I was. As I got closer, I looked even harder. When I got close enough to see, it wasn’t a bag hanging from it’s neck at all. It was a bunch of cows eating with, apparently, their pet geese. Almost every cow had a goose next to it. Cow, goose, cow, goose, cow, goose. It was such a crazy sight, by time I realized what it was, it was too late for me to double back and take a picture. Now I feel like you are as likely to believe that the cows and geese were chilling as you are to believe that I’m abducted by aliens every, single time I travel, but one of those things are definitely true.

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