Ask Roulette

Welcome to Ask Roulette. A different kind of advice column. All questions can be submitted via the Facebook page or Here!! Ask away….

This is for entertainment purposes only. All advice received should be recognized as unprofessional advice fro a professional smart-ass.

Also, sex questions pretty much make it to the top. Would you expect anything less?

Dear Roulette,

I have a friend who has a problem with making the men she sleeps with use protection. She has had 3 STD’s in a year! How do I tell her to stop being nasty and to protect herself without hurting her feelings?

Trying to be a good friend

Dear Trying,

Fuck some feelings! If she’s truly your friend and you are truly hers, you better hurt her feelings. Because the truth hurts.  Maybe something along the lines of “Look, bitch, I can’t listen to any more of this STD talk. I got three letters for you H.I.V. That shit does not go away!” Yes, she’s going to be mad. And sadly, she already knows you’re right. It’s funny, I’ve met so many guys who, when we talk about protection say, “We didn’t use a condom. I could tell she was clean.” Seriously?!?! After I get done laughing and pick myself up off the floor, I politely slap them across the back of the head and tell them, “that’s the dumbest shit I ever heard!” Maybe your friend thinks she can tell.  I’m all for live and let live, but if your friend isn’t grown enough to have a grown discussion about safe sex, she should be refraining all together. But, if you want to go the way of tact and you have $50 to spare, you could always go buy a shit ton of condoms and give them to her and say, “hey, I’m trying to figure out which of these feels the best, will you help?” Where there’s a will, there’s a way. Good luck! 


Dear Roulette, 

My boyfriend is a mama’s boy. He tells his mother EVERYTHING that goes on in our relationship and even asks her for advice on how to deal with problems we are having. How do I tell him that his mother is NOT a part of our relationship and to grow up?

Really Irritated

Dear Irritated, 

Skip the talking and run. Run like it’s your tenth marathon and the prize is ten million dollars! The relationship between your beau and his mommy is not likely going to change. This is probably going to be one of those things that you will either have to agree to disagree on if you really love him or walk away from completely if you cannot handle it. If not, you will always feel resentment toward his mother and he will always feel resentment toward you for trying to put “space” between them. Putting space between himself and his mother is something that he is going to have to do on his own, when he’s ready. And if he never cuts the cord, maybe it’s time to upgrade to a more independent man. 


Dear Roulette, 

My fiance proposed to me and gave me a ring that I am not in love with. Is it OK to ask for a different ring or alter the one he gave me? 

Ring Swap

Dear Ring Swap,

My heart says…. No! No! A thousand times No! Unless you want to break your guy’s heart, then go ahead. If he went through the process of going to numerous jewelers (which he probably did) and looking at hundreds of rings (which he probably did) and then finally (excitedly) picked out the one that he thought would perfectly sum up your relationship, or even more importantly, had special made for you, how much of an idiot do you have to be to not be able to appreciate such a grand gesture? I, personally,  wouldn’t care if my man got me a dick shaped diamond ring to show me he loved me. I’d wear that ring proudly to dinner, to parties, even to church! Him giving you the ring was his token of how much he loves you. You proudly wearing the ring is your token of how much you love him back. You better wear that dick shaped diamond!!

But my mind says ……. if you just absolutely, positively, without a doubt cannot wear that ring for the rest of your life, have a conversation with your guy….wearing kid gloves. This may be a sensitive topic for him or it may be that he didn’t know what the hell you liked and let the girl or guy behind the counter pick out your ring. Find out and be gentle. 


Dear Roulette,

What advice would you give a person who is considering dating outside her race?

Trying to Expand My Horizons

Dear Horizons, 

You shouldn’t let a little thing like race stop you from dating anyone. I’ve found more difficulty dating outside of my socioeconomic background than I’ve ever had with race. People are just people. It doesn’t matter what they look like. Just remember, though, everyone has an opinion. Sometimes, when going on new adventures with your new (different looking) partner, you need to prepare yourself to be thick skinned because you may get “looks” and/or snide comments. I, personally have never noticed these things, but some of my dates have. I’m pretty oblivious to ignorance and side glances, but I’m also white and have the privilege to be oblivious. I prefer to focus on having fun with my date.  If you limit your options, you may not find the one who was meant just for you. 



If you like it, share it. If you hate it, share it. Basically, just share it. And send your friends, enemies, and frenemies over to ask some questions too. 




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