I’ve gotten a lot of questions on the “Ask Roulette” form. It’s funny though, instead of asking for advice, a lot, and I mean A LOT, of questions have come in regarding my sex life. Ex: “How is your sex life?” “How has your sex life been?” “What’s your favorite sexual encounter?”
I had no idea that my sex life was so interesting. So I guess I will use this opportunity to catch you up all the way….. There hasn’t been much sex talk because there hasn’t been much sex. I was doing the dirty with the little Birdy for a while. That didn’t work out. Although he was passionate and I was really in love with the things he did to my body, he also went and got himself a girlfriend– selfish bastard– only thinking of himself and his needs. Totally kidding. I’m really happy for him. They seem happy and I did fuck him one last time after he got the girlfriend. His dick was my parting gift. No guilt here. Not my karma….
And then there was young Marley. He friend zoned me, but we’ve definitely had sex twice. He lacks passion though. It’s more like he’s just filling a need. Kind of like–getting milk out of the fridge. He’s just doing it because milk is readily available and it’s late and he’s thirsty…. I’m his milk….. which is fine. We all have needs and mine include someone who can kiss and will kiss and he doesn’t. He thinks kissing is nasty. So he probably NEVER eats pussy. I get it, your tongue in someone else’s mouth (or vagina) can be nasty I guess, but so can your dick in my mouth if we are being honest… and I still do that. Speaking of dicks in mouths…. some of my guy friends have told me about this dick sucking phenomenon that women do that is actually sucking on a dick… uncomfortably and/or painfully. And upon talking it over with a LOT of my girlfriends, some of them are doing this sucking thing…. So, I’m thinking of doing a PSA about the right way to give a BJ. A video. Not a written tutorial as I think that would be confusing and a visual is needed. Not quite sure which medium to make it available as it may get taken off YouTube in a heartbeat, so feel free to comment how I can share that video if you have a way in mind… So yea, those were the two sexploits I’ve had going for the last few months and I can count on one hand how many times I’ve had sex…. Yes….ONE HAND! It’s like I’ve had a drought. But not really, because, I do have dick readily available, it’s just dick that I don’t want. I’d rather have no dick than mediocre dick. Call me a critic, but I want what I want and I was on a really good roll with finding quality cutty. If you don’t know what cutty is and you can’t infer, here’s an example from urban “dick”tionary… “girl, let me just be your cutty buddy because we don’t get along well enough to have a real relationship, but the sex is good.” Hope that cleared it up for you. So those two things happened. Birdie is the past. Young Marley and I are really good friends. Maybe we will fuck again, but I need passion and fun….
Enter… Night Owl….
So I did that last night. I went to Night Owl’s house to hang out. You remember him from yesterday right? The 26 year old with the adorable face that I wanted to bite off? Yea… so I went to hang out with him. We already talked about not having sex. But we are both liars. But not when it counts. He is brutally honest, like me. He will tell me the truth even if it hurts my feelings, but he’s a nice guy. It’s refreshing. I like people who I can trust to not lie to me since it seems like everybody lies to get what they want. I prefer to tell the truth even if it affects me getting what I want. I think he’s the same way. Anyway, we had the sex conversation. Like I said, he’s much younger, but as it turns out, well seasoned. We talked for quite a few hours after I got there. We watched a couple little animated series episodes. Well one and a half really and we made out like teenagers. I really had no intention of getting dicked down. And yet, that’s exactly what happened. Ok, maybe dicked down is a strong word, but we definitely got naked and sexed each other up. And then he did this magical thing….. I’ll give you a second to stop reading here if words like moist, wet, or squirt make you squeemish…..
So he had told me that he had a pretty much 10 for 10 rating on being able to make a woman squirt. If you don’t know what it is, google it… Not while you are at work, please…. And he said he could do it in less than ten minutes. I’m not a squirter. I have done it in the past, but it’s not a regularly occurring theme in my life. Kind of like, good solid men are not a regularly occurring theme in my life, but on occasion I like to give the benefit of the doubt. This was not one of those occasions. I would have easily bet $1000 that he was full of shit. I’m not typically easy to please in bed. Work has to be put in. And even the sex with us is not what I would call mind blowing, but the first time rarely is while you are getting to know someone’s body and especially when you just met that someone the day before and when you have not fully come to grips with the fact that you are about to sleep with someone just a tad older than your own kid… but I digress…. I would have lost my $1000 if we would have bet. I don’t know what kind of devilish black magic hoodoo this kid was doing, but since I got home all I’ve been thinking is…. “I just want him to do it again….and again….and again…” So I’ve basically decided to keep him. Because he’s super funny, super sweet, quite the gentleman, and a magician… And like I said yesterday, if it makes me happy, I’m doing it, no apologies…