I spent the afternoon with my oldest son today. I don’t write about him often because I don’t see him often. When I’m working he’s sleeping and when he’s working I’m sleeping. That’s usually the way it is. We check in by phone periodically but we don’t spend near as much time together as I would like.
But every time we do get some much needed one on one time, my heart fills up. I don’t give myself near enough credit for the way my kids have turned out. I’m quick to joke about how I don’t know how they all three have turned out as good as they have. I mean, I know the third one is good because he had the first two to look up to, but the first two are miraculous.
Bradley and I were talking religion today as it seems to be a topic that is coming up a lot lately. Universal truths and all that. I feel like every time Bradley and I are together, he thanks me for one thing or another. Sometimes it’s for being a good mom. Sometimes it’s for being there for him. Today it was for not pushing religion on him and for giving him the keys to drive that bus himself. He thanked me for not forcing him to go to church and for letting him go when he wanted to. He thanked me basically for giving him the tools to question everything and not stifling him when he did.
Thinking back, he was always my “why, mom” kid. From the time he could talk, he was asking questions.
Why is the sky blue?
Why do birds sing?
What are they happy about?
Why can’t I jump off the roof?
Why do I have to try this?
Why, why, why?
I never wanted to be a mom that said, “because I said so,” although I’m sure I uttered it a time or two. I never actually planned on being a mom, so when it happened, I decided they deserved to be treated like people not like kids. Hell, I was still a kid when I had them. And I didn’t have the answers. I still don’t have all the answers, but when I didn’t know, I would look it up or I would make it up, but I always tried to never dismiss what they were saying or what they were asking.
I think that’s what makes good people. Not just good kids, but good humans. We are always so quick to dismiss people when they don’t fit into the mold we think they should or when they don’t behave the way we want them to or when they don’t treat us the same way we treat them. But I think if we were to treat people with the kindness we treat a curious child, we could make the world a better place.