I had my last hurrah with the married dude this weekend. I won’t be seeing him anymore. I don’t particularly like playing second fiddle. And I really don’t like standing still. Although, I do realize that I have a tendency to stay in relationships that don’t go anywhere, it’s different than being in one that will never go anywhere. Even if he wanted it to, I could never take anyone seriously who wasn’t faithful to their wife. I know I’m not special and he’s going to miraculously be faithful to me. Not that I wanted that, but I did want brutal honesty and to at least not be blown off. So Friday he was going to come by and he didn’t and I didn’t hear from him. Saturday I saw him while I was working at the stadium. That’s where the last hurrah came….in a storage closet. He was supposed to swing by after the game and, again, didn’t hear from him until after 11, which I considered to be inconsiderate. I didn’t care that he didn’t come by. I did care that he left me hanging. So I blocked his number. I’m pretty sure he’s not one of those persistent guys who is going to come knocking on my door. I’m more sure of it because he’s terrified of my dogs and he’s never met them. I always put them outside when he comes by which makes them even more mythical & dangerous. So I guess I will be spared any grand gestures or apologies. But the experience did solidify why I have always been against seeing married men. I mean, aside from the bad karma points. There is that whole being second or third or even further down the list of importance and even though I know that I’m not out of this world amazing, I’m amazing enough to be someone’s first choice. According to my friends, he will come along. According to me, I’m done with it all. Or most of it. I haven’t blocked unboyfriend yet. He’s the last one on my list. And I have no reason to block him…yet.
I know that feeling. Your so right you do deserve to be someone’s first choice. Jist keep telling yourself that and don’t let him back in. It’s just hard to walk away with all the feelings involved