I had an appointment with Super Therapist today. I spent 45 of our 60 minutes together bitching about work. I hardly ever talk about work because I rarely let it affect me. Today, though, I had a small panic attack at work. Not the kind that leaves me in tears and unable to breathe or move for an hour while pulled over on the side of the road. It was just a slight cluster of heart palpitations. Either way, I figured it was time to get some things off my chest, quite literally.
She is really good at listening. Which, I guess is what she’s there for. We spent the last fifteen minutes trying to figure out her life. Not her personal life. Her practice. The building that she is working out of is being sold and she will no longer be taking clients there. She apparently has gotten a part time gig therapy-ing at the local University. So, I guess I’m going back to college.
Sure, it’s a little drastic to go back to school just so I can go see the part time therapist, but desperate times call for desperate measures, right?
I actually tried to talk her into having “office” hours with me at a random coffee shop. Currently my insurance pays, but I told her I’d be willing to ditch the insurance and pay cash for each session. I told her it would only be unethical if she made me buy her coffee every week.
I don’t know how many therapists are working out of the local coffee shop, but I will say that I’ve had some of my most therapeutic conversations over a chai latte.
She wasn’t totally against the idea, but I guess there are some kinks that would need to be worked out to make it come to life. I offered numerous suggestions such as a waiver to have conversations in a public place so as to appease HIPPA and all that, but I make everything too easy. I always leave out the red tape. Or maybe it’s just invisible in the rose colored glasses I always wear.
I told her I wouldn’t be heartbroken if I didn’t see her again, but I also told her that I probably wouldn’t try to find someone to replace her. She asked me what I felt like I needed therapy for and I told her it was basically because I needed someone who I could unload on who wouldn’t throw it up in my face later, judge me, or harbor hard feelings towards those I am trying to work relationships out with- professional or personal.
I love her because she gets it.
But, I only have until the end of this month and then there will be no more Super Therapist sessions. I’m sure it’s not going to throw me into a depression or anything. After all, I lost a best friend of 20+ years to a psychotic mental breakdown episode (hers not mine) and I’ve managed to get to the other side of that with my head on straight. It’s mostly just a bummer because you find someone who can empathize (or pretend to empathize) with you and also someone who will call you on your shit, and then “POOF!,” the next minute they are getting the rug sold out from under them.
Worst case scenario, I will no longer have a therapist and I will have to work through all my crap alone aka online aka on this blog and I would like to apologize in advance if that happens. Best case scenario, I will be getting my one hour of therapy at a coffee shop over a hot chai tea and everything will be right in the world.
The likely scenario is that I need to get my life in order so I can be all well balanced and therapist free– but then again, where’s the fun in that??