Always Working on a Project

Flea Market Guy and I went to the fair. It’s odd how normal things have been. Well, I don’t really know if they’ve been normal, because I don’t think I’ve ever had a “normal” or “healthy” relationship, but the last few weeks with FMG have seemed pretty “normal” and “healthy.”

So we went to the fair. The kid didn’t want to go so it was just us “old people” walking around and taking in the sights and the smells. We saw the craft fair winners and some agility dogs running a course and jumping in a pool. We saw a motorcycle on a tightrope and some really big roosters. And we walked around and talked.

It’s funny because it’s halfway like getting to know him all over again, but I still have the memories of a month ago and two months ago and six months ago and eight months ago. So even though I am enjoying every minute, I’m still cautious. I’m doing really good at just doing today. And I think it is helping. I’m trying really hard not to hold a grudge for what drunk Flea Market Guy did because sober Flea Market Guy is quite great.

Super Therapist says that maybe I’m cautious or skeptical because he is no longer a project and I have nothing to fix because he is working on himself. She thinks projects around the house are a good idea since it seems like I always have to be fixing something in some way.

I guess she’s right. I’m always working on a project. I’m really good at fixing men. But usually by time they get their shit together I’ve gotten so irritated and over it that I’m not interested anymore because I’m exhausted so they become perfect for the next girl. I think I’ve mentioned that a time or ten before.

And then there is work. Always a project there. For the last two or three weeks I have been working on getting the shop/warehouse in order so the office staff can efficiently do their jobs. It seems like a never ending project. I’ve also been working on the main project that I like to call, “Get your boss to care about his business more than you do.” I’m failing at that project. He wants to do everything but worry about this particular business. Unless things are going great and then it’s all because of him, but when things are bad, it’s my fault. But I’ve accepted that some things never change.

And then there is the house. Super therapist says that’s the project I need to get behind. Just find stuff at home that needs fixed and then do that. FMG made a list of all the house projects we could do. There were 26 things on it. I think we’ve already crossed off two. So maybe Super Therapist is on to something.

Let FMG work on himself and I can work on myself and together we can work on the house.

But last night, there was no work at all. We just hung out and enjoyed each other’s company and made out at the top of the ferris wheel like teenagers. And we held hands. And we laughed. And I realized that THAT is exactly what I deserve.

Someone who wants to be with me and goes out of their way to make plans with me. I also won a Steelers poster because the “guess your weight” guy thought I only weighed 192 pounds. Joke was on him. Apparently I’m 209. Which is about 15 less than I thought. So, go me!

And after walking 20,000 steps today, I probably shed one or two pounds more. Not that I really care. I’ve been trying to get healthier so I guess weightloss is naturally going to occur. I won’t complain.

I actually don’t have any complaints. Well, aside from work, but we all have those. Life outside of work is pretty perfect right now. So I’ll take it while I can get it.

I’m off work today and FMG and I should be leaving bright and early to head to Alabama for a weekend of football with his family. I think my favorite part of traveling with FMG is the drive. I really cherish the time we get to spend in the car. I know it sounds weird because not everybody travels well together, but at this point in time, we are pretty good at doing life together and doing it pretty well.

Like I said, no complaints.

Who’d wanna read that anyway?

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