Weeping Toilet Paper Willows

I didn’t write yesterday because I had to recover from the weekend. I went with FMG and his family to the Auburn game. There’s really nothing like college football to get the energy flowing. We have great game days here in Knoxville. On any given Saturday home game you can find yourself surrounded in a sea of orange if you are downtown or near campus. Auburn was not any different. It was homecoming weekend and it was about 100 degrees out. The heat did not stop anyone from coming out. Not even the Mormons.

They were there with frozen bottles of water to hand to everyone walking by. The ice quickly melted and I had my answer to the age old question “does hell have ice water?” It doesn’t, it has used- to-be-frozen-almost-cold-but-mostly-tepid-until-it’s-really-warm water. It kept us hydrated and that was all that mattered.

We had a great time walking around and just taking in everything that is college game day.

Every team has it’s traditions and this team is no different. They have Toomer’s Corner. A cozy little corner with trees planted on the perimeter. There used to be a large tree in the middle of the corner until a few years ago until a deranged Alabama fan poisoned it and it had to be cut down. They’ve since planted two other trees, but they are not mature and not nearly as regal as the previous tree was rumored to be.

And every game day (win or lose, I hear) after the game, fans gather at Toomer’s Corner to roll the trees. Yes, roll the trees. With toilet paper.

When we checked in to our hotel, the attendant asked us if we were in for the game. We said yes, and she handed us an extra roll of toilet paper wrapped in Auburn colored ribbons….for after the game.

I didn’t know what the toilet paper was for and then Flea Market Guy told me the story of tradition. I wanted more rolls because there was nothing I wanted to do more at that point than to go roll a couple trees. Unfortunately, she wouldn’t come up off an extra roll, but it turned out to be ok because FMG’s mom had brought two 12 packs of toilet paper. As we waited on other family members to join us at the tree, the toilet paper became a little side hustle as people walked up to us and asked if they could buy a roll.

At first, we sold them for $2, but then we were told the going rate of Toomer’s Corner toilet paper and the price quickly went up to $3 or two for $5.

FMG’s parents were so surprised that we could make such a killing on toilet paper and I think they were a little disappointed they hadn’t brought more. Especially since you really only get one good throw before someone else picks up your roll to chuck it in the trees. By the end of the night, the trees look like weeping toilet paper willows and it is beautiful.

I’m sure the local city or University maintenance guys who have to clean it all up do not think there is anything beautiful about it, but to me, it was like snow in the middle of the night before there are any footprints. I think if I were younger, I would want to go to Auburn just because of the tradition at Toomer’s Corner.

I’d definitely go back for a game and I might as well since I own an Auburn shirt now.