2020 Already

It seems like just yesterday we were bringing in 2019. I was at Flea Market Guy’s house. We were drinking. Actually, we were drunk. We did stay up long enough to ring in the New Year. And it was a long and bumpy ride through 2019.

It was quite a different story this year. We’ve been sober for almost 5 months. I say “we” because I’ve been on the wagon with him. It’s been a lot easier for me to not drink than it has for him to not drink. I found out recently that he has a small resentment against me because of that. But he had a lot more “drunk time” under his belt than me. I had quit heavily drinking years ago. About 20. I was probably slowing down right around the time that he was ramping up his alcoholism. Because life is all about choices. And 20 years ago, I was raising kids and I had to make a choice. I chose sobriety for a really long time. But I was always aware that, while I could always go days and weeks and months without drinking, I could never have “just one” when I started. Alcoholism has no rules. And while, I don’t consider myself an “alcoholic” in the traditional sense of the word, I’ve always maintained that I don’t have a drinking problem until I start. And then the problem is that I don’t know how to stop. It’s as true today as it has been my whole adult life. So staying sober with FMG while he works on his sobriety has actually helped both of us.

Our relationship is stronger. Our financial situation is better. I’m doing what I love (which I will get to momentarily) and he is doing what he’s always wanted to do, which is have his own business and work for himself. All in all, we ended the year on a really positive note. We went to Dollywood and rode all the roller coasters in less than two hours until I was ready to throw up in my hat and then came home and watched some Rockin’ New Year’s eve until we decided it was bedtime, well before midnight. But I guess when you celebrate every new day, the new year is just another new day to celebrate. No resolutions. Just solutions.

We’ve been working regularly on gratitude and letting each other know all the things we are thankful for with the other and, I guess the experts are right, because it works. We definitely have the relationship that I never thought existed. And I’m happy.

I know I’ve been quiet on the blog here for the last couple months. I know that usually when that happens it is because I am in some deep dark hole of moodiness or seasonal depression that hits me sometimes, but I’ve actually been pretty good this season so far. Not that I wouldn’t love a trip to the beach, but I guess it can wait.

I’ve been head first in a book project since the beginning of November and I couldn’t stop. I worked on it every minute of the day it seemed until about two weeks ago. And then I was stressing because Amazon has strict rules for their covers apparently and I’ve had to re-submit my covers for the books I’ve created at least 3 times. So I just submitted them again and now I wait for the OK or the rejection email. We will see.

I know that doesn’t quite catch you up on the last 4 months I’ve been gone, but it’s a good start. How was the end of your year and how did you bring in your 2020?

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