A Sober Birthday

Today is Flea Market Guy’s birthday. We were talking last night and it is the first time in his life that he has gone from one birthday to the next without a drink.

He counts last birthday as his first sober birthday. But I don’t really count that one. I think this is his first true year of sobriety.

Last birthday, FMG was only a few months sober. He was going to 2 or 3 AA meetings a day. Then he would come home and we would talk about it for hours. Whatever the topic of the meeting was, would get brought to dinner, to the shower, to the bedroom, to the couch.

Our whole life turned into a nonstop therapy session where he would unpack all of these memories and feelings and questions.

Some of them I was equipped to answer. The rest of the time, I just let him talk and get it off his chest. The more he talked, the lighter he became. I could almost see the weight lifting from his shoulders a little each day.

Now, our talks mostly involve God and our take on religion.

But I digress…

Today he is 44 and we are light and happy. We have one of those relationships that I used to be jealous that other people had. We laugh together daily. We eat together daily. We hug each other daily. We say we love each other daily. And when we get into a fight or an argument, we make sure to double up on the laughing, eating, and hugging to remind each other that even though we don’t like each other in those moments, we still love each other in those moments.

I gave him all his (very practical) birthday presents last night. We will work a half day today and come home and just hang out. I have a steak and shrimp dinner planned for him with a pecan pie (out of the box) for dessert.

And there will be no drinking involved. And we are both happier people because of it.

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