RouletteWeekend

I was super pissed off for the last few days. I won’t say it was for no good reason, because I feel like I have about three dozen good reasons, but I’m normally much better at handling stress. I’ve done it my whole life and it’s never made me feel desperate or unhinged, which is exactly how I was feeling a few days ago. I haven’t done a single workout this week. I intended to get back to it today and, still, I have not.

We are doing some small repairs around Mom-in-law’s house hoping that will help people see all the good things about the house instead of their eyes going straight to the water damage on the ceiling that was never primed and painted over after the issue was fixed (years and years ago). Yes, that is what we walked into.

So, the house has been on the market and at the price point that it’s listed at, it seems like nobody has any vision. They want to walk into a perfect home even though, if this home was perfect, it would be $200k more just because of the neighborhood.

We had originally decided we weren’t going to do any of the work because we couldn’t afford to pay someone to come do it. After days and days of a bad mood and thinking about how much I need to get out of this house for my own sanity and, I believe, for my mother-in-law’s sanity, as well, I decided that I am pretty sure I can do all of the interior work myself.

MIL had a hole in her wall. Well, it wasn’t a hole at first. At first it was moist drywall from a banister on the roof that was leaking and then Will accidentally put his finger through it when we discovered it. So we sealed the roof where the old sealant had just given up and let the area dry, then I cleaned and patched the small hole.

Today I’ve been priming the ceiling on the parts that need it, adding some caulk on parts of the crown molding, and I will repaint the wall and the ceiling. After thinking about it, it was pretty stupid to not just do the cosmetic fixes before putting the house on the market. Especially for what we listed it for to start.

Will was convinced the house would sell in just a few days in this neighborhood.

He was wrong.

So now we are listed so low, a wholesaler could come in and buy it, do some updates and flip it for a cool $1 mil. And I’ve been trying to put it out into the universe that it happens just like that. We’ve had a few promising showings, but everyone needs to sell their house to buy ours and if I had to guess, they are going to list too high just like we did and be sitting on the market 52 days later stressed the fuck out that their dream house is going to get sold to someone else.

Unless they have a realtor who says, “no. If you want to sell it ASAP, you have to list it competitively and their client listens. But that is a unicorn client.

Will had one unicorn client once as a realtor. It was fantastic and the house sold in a weekend.

I cleansed this house the other day, windows open, talking to the spirits, with white sage. Will said some people might thing I’m culturally appropriating the beliefs of the indigenous and native Americans. I told him, I’d make a deal with a devil if it’d get me out of this house, so leave me and my sage alone.

I think it helped.

The house doesn’t seem so heavy.

It’s not light enough for us to want to stay, but mostly, that’s because of my dogs.

My rottweiler is having major shoulder/hip issues going up and down the steps. It’s only been 7 months here. If we had to stay forever, I truly believe it would take years off his life. And he’s already 6 (well, he will be in a few weeks).

So, my attitude has improved. There’s a small chance my despair and terrible mood was caused by the DHEA pills I was taking with my estradiol cream for my hormones. The doc told me to quit taking it and I feel like my mood improved almost immediately. So we are going to try again in a few weeks and see if I have the same effect or if it was just situational stress.

However, I’m optimistic today. Mother in law and I had a very good day yesterday going to a million appointments it seemed. One was a hearing appointment but the other two were to get her some social time. One at church and one at a neuro center where they do brain games to keep their minds active. And when we got home, she had remembered that we hadn’t been sitting in the house all day. So I guess I would call that a win.