I got two of the “gallery” walls put together yesterday in the living room (aka the den). Will and his mom had to take the itchy beagle to the vet, so I took that opportunity to get it done.
I think it would be an understatement to say that mother in law loved both walls. Pretty much everything I used on the walls belonged to her and her past, but it didn’t make the room “feel” old like the historic furniture that has lined every wall since we moved in. All of that is slowly making its way upstairs into the attic. I’m thinking we will keep it for a year or so and anything that gets pulled out and used will get to stay and everything else can be sold, unless it’s super duper sentimental.
I understand sentimentality, I guess I’ve just never understood sentimentality over everything. It’s like every piece of furniture in this house is sentimental to mother in law. Her husbands family furniture from 100 years ago. Her grandmother’s bed. Her mother’s jewelry dresser. The boys childhood twin beds. The piano her father bought her as a child even though it hasn’t been played in probably 40 years or more. Everything has meaning and everything stays is her philosophy.
My philosophy is more functional. What can it be used for? Does it make this life easier or more difficult? I don’t mind a bunch of art on the walls because, well, it’s on the walls. It needs dusted regularly and that’s about it.
With the Alzheimer’s, every single piece of furniture with doors or drawers becomes a place for things to get put. And nine times out of ten, those things do not belong there.
Will and his mom think I’m being difficult and want to “change” this so drastically, but I’m just trying to make the future more enjoyable for all of us and safer for her.
I removed the rugs for two reasons. One, because her dogs think rugs are doggie pee pads and, two, because they will eventually become a trip hazard for mother in law. It seems like being the logical one makes me the bad guy, but maybe I’m far enough removed to look at things more clinically and less emotionally.
Will thinks we are taking things away from his mom by removing furniture and unused items. I think we are giving her a chance to feel more in control of her life and her surroundings.
Of course, neither one of us has ever had to deal with Alzheimer’s before so we are both flying blind and doing the best we can, but selfishly, I don’t want to have to walk around the house weekly or daily looking for things that have been misplaced or cleaning dirty toiletries out of clean drawers, which is what happens.
So, I’ve decided, if I have to, I will be the bad guy, but at least I’ll be the bad guy in a house that feels breathable and clean.
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