Gone Fishin’

I was sitting at home Friday night and I was bored. Every church person will tell you idle time is the devil’s playground. And so, I said a little prayer before I went to the playground. And then I opened up my phone and made (yet, another) online dating profile. I’m not sure if it’s the same with men. Or even women for that matter. But as soon as I get online and make a profile, I always have dozens of messages almost immediately. I’m not saying it to brag. I find it overwhelming. When I get online to look, I really only hope to find one or two good connections quickly so I can delete and be done with it. I don’t like having to weed through all the “hey beautiful” messages to get to the one that says, “I read your whole entire profile… I can tell you are a writer, I thought it’d never end.”  That’s the one I’m looking for. The diamond in the ruff. It’s always my intention for it to happen like that, but it never truly does. And nine times out of ten, when it does miraculously happen like that, there is no initial spark.

I know it sounds shallow to expect a spark right away, but we all have our unreasonable expectations and that is one of mine. If you haven’t used Plenty of Fish, it goes a little something like this: You sign up. You make a profile. You add a pic. You put in your search preferences. If you are a woman, that’s really all you have to do, because your inbox will slowly fill up with more “hey” than you care to respond to. And every time you go to answer a message (if you aren’t using the app, which I didn’t) you can see a short list of everyone online in the area (or supposedly in the area).  Friday I spent chatting it up with a bunch of the “hey beautiful,” guys. Saturday, I was a little more selective and just read the messages but didn’t respond unless I thought we’d be a match in some way.

I prefer male profiles that have something profound or at least entertaining written in them so I was reading a lot of profiles. And whenever I saw someone in the “online now” section as I was checking messages, I would take a gander at their profile too. Usually they will send a message after you view them because they can tell when you view them, which is only slightly annoying. And then I saw him. This guy with a less than amazing profile. Only two pictures. And he lived 6 hours away. But something about him screamed to my soul. I know it sounds silly, but all you regular readers know I am not generally phased. So if a picture is yelling at me, I’m gonna listen.

So I sent him a message… this message:
I’ve never hated the fact that Memphis is so far away until I scrolled across your profile. Cheesy, but true. Do you ever come to Knoxville? 

P.S. I like your face

He messaged back a few minutes later and said that he had just passed through Knoxville a few hours earlier. That explained why he kept showing up in my search, I guess. He’s a truck driver. So he messaged me back that he was about to be driving and asked if he could call me. I don’t want to be the cause of anyone’s death. Especially not anyone with a face like his. So I sent him my number.

I’m not really particular about who I give my number to. I mean, you could be a murderer and I’d probably still give you my number. Actually, at this point in time two definite and one possible murderer already have my number (don’t ask). Plus, back when I discovered boys, that’s the only way we had to communicate. You gave someone your number and then you sat on the phone for hours talking to them. I think teenagers still do that today somewhere. Plus, it’s not like he asked for my address, although, if his stalking skills are up to date, he could probably find out.

Anyway, he called. I answered. We spent the next 20 minutes talking about everything under the sun. We laughed. We cried (not really, but we did get into some deep conversation). We shared interesting tidbits about each other. And then he got to where he was going, which was Atlanta. It hadn’t been 20 minutes at all. We had been on the phone for an hour and twenty minutes, talking like we had known each other forever.

I’m torn on how I feel about life when something like that happens. It’s amazing in one sense, because it’s not often you connect with someone so instantly. It’s scary in another sense because it’s not often you connect with someone so instantly. I can’t be the only person who wishes for something (usually in the form of a partner) but gets totally wigged out when the possibility is standing in front of you (or in this case driving through your city).

Anyway, to make a long story short. I met a guy. A really nice, funny, handsome, seemingly undamaged human being. And we had amazing conversation. And not to jump the gun, but if it turns into anything noteworthy, I just wanted to start taking the notes now for posterity. I’m not planning a wedding or anything, but it’s been a really, really, really long time since I met someone I wanted to blog about before the sex. So I guess that’s something.


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