The Devil’s Playground

I do this thing when I get bored where I peruse the television for something to watch. I try to go for a movie because if I go for a television show, I end up binge watching and wasting entire days away. And although I love being entertained, I have other creative endeavors I’m working on right now so I don’t have time to be engrossed in anything. I have time to get in and out like a ninja. And so that’s how I treat my television watching. It’s also how I treat the online dating game.

And it just so happens when I sit down to watch a movie something in my brain equates that to boredom and then equates it to “you should make a new online dating profile” and so that’s how my POF profile usually happens.

That’s how it happened last night.

I started watching a movie and had my phone in my hand. Of course I was watching a love story and so I was thinking to myself, “I want that!” and then I started thinking about Off the Record Trucker and reminded myself that it was totally possible and I should just get back online. Because, after all, I can do all the soulmate manifestation meditations I want and it will do me no good if I never leave the house and/or don’t figure out a way to meet new people. He’s not going to just come a knockin’ at my door. I mean, maybe he will, but it’s highly unlikely.

And so… I made a profile.

A few pictures. A few snarky but adequate descriptions of myself. And Voila… I’m back in the game.

The thing about online dating is that it is very physical…in the sense that if there is not any visual spark and/or if your profile is not entertaining or funny, I guess I’m kind of an asshole in that I won’t really respond to a message. At least not to a “hi” or “hey” or “mmm” (yes, they really do send that). And so I’m one of those people that are referenced in other’s profiles as “at least have the decency to say hi back.”

Ummm…. no. I feel like saying “hi” back obligates me to at least three more pointless messages and if I can already tell from the rebel flag in the background of your picture that chances are we won’t have a whole lot in common or I see pictures of a guy with young children hugging him, I already know that I’m not interested.

I know, I know. It’s probably why I’m still single, but I want what I want and I don’t want to settle. So I’m back on this horse again riding down a dusty road looking for Prince Charming, and as of this morning, the only thing I’ve run into is coyotes.

Part of my problem is that I don’t give the site enough time. I usually get off within the first 72 hours because I get bored or because I meet someone I have really good chemistry with and I feel like my mission was accomplished (aka meet someone awesome, get in and out), but then something happens like they aren’t awesome at all or they are absolutely awesome and want to have babies… either way, I jump the gun on deleting my profile. I guess I could just leave it there and check back occasionally, but that becomes terribly overwhelming. It’s like when your email notifications say you have 1000 messages but that’s just too much to deal with so you go in and just delete them all blindly because if it’s important, they will email you back… or am I the only one who does that?

Eh… it doesn’t really matter. What matters is, you all get to read about more of my dating woes (or triumphs, I guess anything is possible).

And I get spend more time swiping left, right, and deleting messages from men who want to call me darlin’ and tell me they wish they were cuddling with me in the snow because I look “soft.”

So…let’s get this party started!

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