I have promised myself that I would blog every day this year. And it’s not even February yet and I find myself struggling with topics to write about. Not that I don’t have any. I just find myself wanting to be more censored than usual. It may be the phase of the moon or something. And I’m sure it will pass, but for now, I’m going to just give you a poem from my book that isn’t published yet but hopefully will be soon. I hope you enjoy…
1200 Days
Her superpower is picking all the wrong men.
What would they call a movie based on her love life?
X-Woman?
Or maybe something like 1200 Days of Self-Destruction.
It’d be the shortest movie ever.
Just a few scenes- where the girl picks up her phone,
checks her texts,
and agrees to the see the guy last minute
because when he texts he says
“I want to make you feel good. It’s all about you tonight.”
And so
she puts on her shoes and makes her way
to him
They drink
He fills the apartment with cigarette smoke
and idle chatter
until they get to the part she shaved her legs for.
She needs it to be about her.
She needs to feel good.
And then,
just like a movie she’s seen 100 times before-
she can see the end coming–
too soon, and not the way it was promised.
Him- on top of her-
telling her
how good she feels
to him
Not the other way around like it should be
And even though
she did want to be held-
in someone’s arms–
she could have lived an entire lifetime
without the constant snore in her ear-
She could have lived without allowing herself to be loved last minute,
covering her disappointment in clothes in the morning,
layer by layer,
smiling at him as if it was a good night,
scrambling to leave the place she doesn’t even know why she went to
In the first place.
Telling herself, she should be first place
she should block his number
but deciding she just won’t answer next time
The movie has no ending
If you want to know what happens next
you just have to push play again.
RouletteWeekend 