P.S. I love you.

My brother sent me some money via PayPal last night with a text message that said: “write.” And then I got a phone call from him, He was worried about me because I hadn’t blogged in a while. When I picked up the phone, he said, “are you ok? It’s not like you to not write for over a week. Are you being held hostage? Press 111 if you are.”

I was touched. Up until recently, I had been spending a lot of time alone. I work alone. I’m home alone all day. I mean, my dogs are here, but if I died, they would probably only wait about 5 minutes before they started fighting over my femur and then holding it in the window for the mailman to see so he would know he’s next.

And I see Mel every day before and after school. But I guess my online presence is how the rest of the world knows that I’m still alive (and maybe sometimes I’m entertaining).

I try to keep current on all the major platforms- Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and here, but sometimes, I just want to turn my phone off and forget about all of those things and just do real life.

It doesn’t take long before I realize I need my phone to take pictures even if I don’t post them immediately. I guess I’m semi-addicted to technology. But I guess I didn’t really realize that my blogging was a way that people kept up with me. Moreover that people really cared to keep up with me. I just write because it makes me happy. This blog isn’t monetized. I make no money off any of my own writing actually because I’m a terrible marketer and I’m filled with more self doubt than words. I just write because 1. it brings me joy 2. I have a really bad memory and I will be able to read these later when I don’t remember my own name and 3. I’ve been through a lot of shit and apparently am still going through a lot of shit and I feel like other people are too so maybe someone will relate and feel like things are going to be ok after all (or at least that’s my hope).

So when my brother called and said he was worried because my blog was MIA, I was super touched. And then he said, “PS. I love you” and then he added that he was proud of me and he believed in me and my writing and he hung up on me which I thought was very sweet because my brother rarely gets sentimental and I don’t recall anyone in my family (besides my children) ever saying they were proud of me or believed in me. Not that I need to hear those things, because like I said, I write because it makes me happy, but it made me feel good because it was something that I did actually need to hear at that moment.

So for those of you who care enough to stop by every day and check in to see what’s going on in my neck of the woods, thank you for taking time out of your day to do so.  I am planning on getting back into the swing of things with the blog and writing and life in general.

Needless to say, I did not have to press 111. I am alive and well much to my dogs’ disappointment and nobody has me held hostage (which is kind of disappointing to me). So there will be words… and probably more than you want to read even while sitting on the pot.