Happy First Monday of the New Year! It’s almost hard to believe that we have crossed another year off our calendars. I know that so many people have so many negative feelings about the way last year went and I have to say, I’m not experiencing that at all.
While I did suffer a few losses last year, the biggest one being the loss of my 12 year old German Shepherd, Athena, the gains far outweighed the losses.
And it wasn’t because some big amazing thing happened last year. I didn’t win the lottery despite playing more than I’m proud to admit. I didn’t write the book I wanted to write in November. The book I did publish last year has only sold a few copies. But the positives far outweigh the perceived negatives.
What did happen last year, was that I found whole communities of people who were trying to become better versions of themselves. Whether that was in my BODi community with people I was able to talk to face to face or via zoom, or whether it was with the online mentors I have chosen to spend time with who don’t even know my name. I consider all of them friends.
This morning, I was listening to Brendon Burchard. I use an app that he has created called Growth Day The app has so many tools that you can access and tons of courses you can take, but there is also a daily podcast. I have had this app for quite a while and have paid for the annual basic subscription. However, I have just recently started listening daily to the “daily fire” that he posts. Today, he was talking about goals and the new year. He said if you aren’t able to come up with a goal or a list of goals for the new year, then maybe, you should be the goal.
I feel like I spent a lot of 2022 working on myself and I plan on continuing down that path in 2023, but when he said that it also reminded me of another quote that says you are the sum of your five closest acquaintances. Who you surround yourself with matters. And what I have found is that while I have a small circle of women who are striving every day to improve their mindsets and their mental health and their overall wellness, those people are all in other cities, other states, and other countries.
We moved to Myrtle Beach almost a year ago and I have not found any local friends to hang out with on a regular basis and I have not found any social organizations to join like poetry slams, writing workshops, etc. And it is definitely for lack of trying.
I was so focused on working on myself mentally last year, it was like I forgot that my social calendar (pre-COVID) used to be really full. But, after doing the mindset work, I’ve found that the people that I maybe would have gravitated toward 4 years ago are not the people I would gravitate toward now.
My current list of friends include Brendon Burchard, Reese Witherspoon, Drew Barrymore, Ed Mylett, Brene Brown, and more. I do not know these people in person. And they do not know me at all, but they are just some of the people I look to when I need inspiration, motivation, a reality check about my mindset and just generally want to think about the possibilities of my life.
They are the sparks that light my flame. They are the leaders that I can identify with. So I include them in my “circle” of friends because I get to be choosy. And so do you. If you are surrounded by naysayers and people who don’t take you and your dreams seriously, it’s OK to open the door and let them out of your life. And if you are too attached (they are your spouse or a parent) and letting go of them is not an options, I challenge you to go find some of the leaders that you enjoy and do a deep dive into what they are teaching. Spend a couple dollars to download the app, or buy the book, or join the book club. Because if you can’t change the people you are around, by working on yourself the people around you will eventually change.
Pay attention to who you are surrounding yourself with.