Out of the Woodwork 

Apparently when you start seeing someone, people who you used to fuck with but haven’t in a while get some sort of sixth sense and all of a sudden start to miss you. I don’t know if there is a scientific term for this or a psychic term for this but ever since Derek and I went to the Mexican restaurant to eat and I had the epiphany that I could listen to his stories for the rest of my life, these guys have been coming out of the woodwork. I think over the last week, there have been about 5 people who I haven’t really talked to in a bit who have started texting me again out of the blue not to mention the 2 or 3 regular texters, but then again, they always show up in cycles it seems. One week nobody, the next week everybody. Either way, the woodwork has been bursting with past love interests this week. I thought it was maybe some law of the universe or some universal test. As I was texting with Derek this morning, two people started messaging me almost at the exact same time. If I had to guess I would say unboyfriend probably tried at some point this week too because his timing has always been impeccable but he’s still blocked so the world may never know. The crazy thing about it was that I was not a bit tempted. I had no desire to see them. No desire to have sex with them. Really,  not even a desire to text them back, but I did just long enough to let them know I had no desire to see them because all of my sights were set on my new guy. Even though we haven’t discussed being “exclusive,” it feels pretty exclusive. I mean, the guy is practically speaking French with all the “we,we,we,we” he talks about. And it’s not freaking me out a bit. He says “we” are going to do something and I’m all like, “awwww….self, did you hear that? He just called us we..” And then my rational side is all, “Shut the fuck up, you two make me sick.” But I don’t care because he’s super sweet. We’ve also done the deed, against my friends warnings to wait 90 days to see if there was still magic. I won’t go in to detail about it because then if any of you met him you would be like, “Hey Derek, nice to meet you, tell me about this position you call the creeper” or whatever. You get my point. Let’s just say, sex didn’t ruin any of the magic that is him and clearly my friends have way higher expectations of me than they should, but they have always been a little on the optimistic side.

Anyway, the guys that I have told that I’m seeing someone have been kind enough to feign happiness for me. Maybe it was genuine. Could have been. I doubt it though. But I thanked them and moved on. I still have a few more to tell that haven’t come out of the woodwork yet but even if I don’t mention it, they will figure it out eventually I’m sure. I’m not too concerned about it. I’m just thrilled that Derek found me and I’m even  more thrilled that he always has his hands in my hair or is rubbing my shoulders or my arms or my neck. And he holds my hands and it’s ridiculously adorable. It’s as if he totally gets me, but he doesn’t suffocate me either. It’s like he knows how much I can take before I need a break from him or before I need time to miss him and it’s awesome. And I find myself being very thankful.


  1. You know… it’s funny. I can almost see you smiling through this post. Exciting times 🙂 (and the friends that might look down on you for doing the deed are just jealous)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. 90 day rule makes no sense to me. I need to know if the deed is going to be good if we are really going to be in a relationship. I agree with J…I can tell you are smiling through this post.

    Liked by 1 person

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