Crazy Preacher Girl

It was a pretty uneventful day here at the beach. I drove into Panama City to take my aunt’s car to be fixed. I was superbly unsuccessful. I stopped at the beach, but it was raining…. a lot, so that was a bust. While I was in Panama City, I met one of the last Tinder guys who actually have my phone number. It was not a match. Not because he wasn’t handsome and nice, he was. I think it was mostly because all I want to do is see my Pandora’s Box guy. I was supposed to have an early dinner or maybe a late lunch with Marky Mark, but that didn’t work out and I was oddly relieved.  I think he’s scared of me or too timid or something. He sent me a text about the rain and asked if I wanted to do something another day when it’s not raining. I probably looked like a crazy person at the beach because as he was texting me, I was sending him one reply and talking out loud what I actually wanted to say.


Him: Since the rain is screwing up any outdoor plans would you be open to another day?

Me via text: No problem.

Me out loud: Seriously? Dinner was going to be outside? I’m sitting outside right now. On a patio. In the rain. Not getting wet.  Because it’s covered.

Him: Thank you sweetheart.

Me via text: Ok

Me out loud: Amateur. Even the most dense of men would have taken this opportunity to at least try the “it’s raining, lets just eat in at my house..” And I’ve already been to your house.

Him: Are you in to Cajun? I’m not sure if the Marley place that’s out of business was Cajun.

Me via text: Cajun is fine.

Me out loud: If it’s out of business, why the fuck does it matter?  Oh, and by the way, the “Marley” place was probably more on the Jamaican Jerk side. Just a guess.

So, yea, I probably looked like that crazy guy that stands on the corner of every major city screaming bible verses, but instead of glaring into cars while doing it, I was looking into my phone. Either way. I guess I was stood up. Way to go Marky Mark.  He may try to “reschedule” but I heard today that I am an “alpha” female and I’m “scary.” So maybe I scared him with my quick wit, big brain and general awesomeness. Maybe that’s my whole problem. Maybe I date assholes because they stand up to me and my “alpha-ness and although I want a nice guy, I don’t want to be able to push someone around. Pfffft. Not that I do that. I’m perfectly reasonable when in a relationship.  I know, you’ll probably be laughing at that until tomorrow. So I’ll see you then.

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