Relationships are Like Karma

I ditched the blog yesterday for a “me” day. It wasn’t intentional. I kept meaning to get to it, but then I just kept finding other things to do…. like work, dishes, sweeping the floor, oh, and daydreaming about Flea Market Guy. Not that I have to daydream too much because he’s more like a dream come true. No make believe required.

We spent half the weekend together.

I didn’t see him Friday night. He had a long week and wanted to just chillax at home. He invited me to come over if I wanted to, but I didn’t want to invade his space and I know what it’s like to just want to be alone so I declined and told him I’d be around if he wanted to chat later, otherwise, he should just relax and enjoy his night and we would catch up the next day (Saturday- since we already had plans).

Saturday rolled around and we went to a party that he was invited to. I was his plus one. It was full of scientists, which led to fascinating conversations. We had a really good time and I met lots of interesting people. Then he dropped me off at home after the party and we had plans to see each other Sunday (the next day) to watch the Superbowl together.

Sunday rolled around. I text him mid-morning. He invited me over. We went and had brunch and then chilled out until a little before the game started. We went to the grocery store to grab some very unhealthy game-day items to indulge in. On the way in the store, we ran into a couple that he knew. They had a brief conversation. He introduced me. And when we parted ways. He told me it was his ex-girlfriend. She was pretty and seemed nice (because I know you were wondering).

I had heard about her before- in the midst of getting to know him, so I knew they were friends. Normally, in my past life (like 5 years ago before my long-term single hiatus) I would have been uncomfortable with that.

I’m not sure what happened over the last five years to make me change. Maybe because I don’t want someone telling me who I can and can’t be friends with. Maybe because I know what I have to offer and a person would be an idiot to mess up with me once we are standing on solid ground. Or maybe it’s just because life is too short for me to waste time worrying about what might be. But nowadays, I don’t really stress out about too much, especially not the affairs of men.

I think when it comes to relationships (and please know I’m no expert), I think you get out of it what you put into it. Kind of like the universe and karma. Maybe years ago I would have gotten jealous and worried about what a guy may be doing, but I don’t think I would be like that now. I haven’t known FMG long enough to even be bothered with worrying about what he’s doing. Yes, he’s great. Yes, I really like him. Yes, I’d change my facebook status for him (which has never happened in the 10 years I’ve been on facebook), but it’s only been two weeks. Even though it seems like we’ve been friends a whole lot longer. And I think that’s the key, we get along more like friends. Not that the attraction isn’t there because it is. We just haven’t acted on it yet, and I think that makes all the difference in the world. He’s not in a rush for anything. He’s content just getting to know me piece by broken piece.  He even knows this little blog exists and he doesn’t even care. Nor has he come through binge reading every little blog to find out about my sordid past. But I think the big shocker is that I wouldn’t care if he did because I feel comfortable enough around him to tell him all my shit. ALL OF IT. And I don’t think there’s any other guy in my life (past or present) who I’ve been this comfortable with.

Sometimes I want to tell him that. But then I have to remind myself that it’s only been 2 weeks. But he’s made me re-think everything I thought about relationships. Maybe he hasn’t made me re-think it. I think maybe a more accurate description would be that he’s confirmed that there are amazing men in the world who I can be completely and utterly myself around. He’s shown me that there are good men in the world who aren’t just looking out for themselves. There are men who aren’t narcissistic dickholes who only think about what they want and don’t give a shit if they destroy another human being in their wake.

But more importantly, he reminded me that I pick really shitty men. And I have. It’s been my pattern.  I’ve literally only dated one good guy out of every guy I’ve dated in the last 25 years. And he and I are still friends even though it will never be anything more than that again.

I guess every relationship and terrible situation we get ourselves into is just priming us and training us to fine-tune our list of what we want and need in our lives.

And my list was hella-fine-tuned. And then this guy just shows up out of the blue on some random online dating site all confident and wanting to get to know me. It was like he just peeled himself off the pages of my wish list. So two weeks in, I’m still enjoying the ride. And he is refusing to let it turn into a whirlwind which is the best because I easily get swept up in whirlwind romances and just as easily jump off the ride at the first sign of boredom. But he is impossible to get bored with because we actually have conversations and have things in common. And I genuinely like him. And he’s making sure we get to know each other because I think he gathered from our conversations that I will bore easily. And as it turns out, he seems pretty into me as well.

We already have plans for the weekend, so it looks like we are going to make it to week three. But I’m pretty confident that before I know it, I’ll be talking anniversaries and shit. Because he’s just that awesome. And I’m an optimist.

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