I got a text message from Alejandro while I was at work today. He’s the one I went ziplining with in North Carolina not so long ago. I haven’t talked to him since he got back with his ex-girlfriend, who I guess is still his current girlfriend, immediately after our trip. I didn’t know who it was at first because his number was different, but within a few minutes I found out they were still together.
Have you ever had one of those momentary roller coasters of emotions? Mine went something like this…
Got a text message. Was confused because I had no idea who it was even for a split second after he said his name. Got a little pitter-patter in my chest where my heart used to be when I realized who it was. Had one of those 3 minute fantasies where the girl gets the guy and gets the happily ever after and gets excited because she thinks- FINALLY- but then the three minutes ends and reality sinks in that he was just thinking about you for some random reason- was thinking about a blow job or sex or maybe he saw a zip line commercial and you crossed his mind but it doesn’t matter because then you feel the let down as soon as he said things were still going with the woman. Yea, it was like that.
Not that I’m upset. I’m not at all. I’m happy for him. I’m happy for anyone who can find someone to spend their time and energy on that is worth it. I’m not one of those people who gets jealous over someone else’s success and I certainly don’t celebrate other people’s failures. So my let down was not because he was still with her, it was just because I let my imagination run wild, which I have a tendency to do in 3-minute increments occasionally.
I did really like him though. We were compatible enough that I probably would have given it a legit shot. I would have given up my unboyfriend for him even. But spilled milk and all that. It was a nice reminder that I leave an impression if nothing else and also that as much as I try to be all hard and emotionless, deep down, I really do have some sort of feelings even if it just for certain, specific, individuals. But life goes on. Just like it always has and I’ll go to bed tonight and wake up to a new day tomorrow. And I guess that is the most important thing.
Every day is a new day to do something you’ve never done. Try something that makes your heart speed up and your palms sweat. Love someone who least expects it. Live like you might not get a tomorrow.