My Dirty Little Secret (Unboyfriend part III?)

I went back and forth about even posting this because I go back and forth about this man on a regular basis. As you may recall from an earlier blog, I had stopped seeing my unboyfriend about 2 or 3 months ago. We’ve stopped before. Many times. For the last two years to be exact. We just “un”celebrated our two year “un”anniversary because we’ve always been “un”official which is why he has always been by “un”boyfriend. Well a few weeks ago, when I posted that I had a dream about him, I broke down and sent him a message just to check and see if he was alive. He was. Then we started chit chatting like we always do and he immediately thought I was going to come over and we were going back to our normal “thing,” but that’s not what I had in mind. I was genuinely just checking on him. So when he invited me over and I was out with my girls, I blew him off. He was visibly agitated because of it and sent me a few very uncharacteristic back to back text messages that I ignored, because if the roles were reversed, that’s what he would do. So about two weeks after that I guess, maybe one week, I was walking my dog. I have a couple regular routes I walk with my dogs and most of them go from the park past his house to mine, because he lives around the corner from me, remember? As I was walking by, I was looking at my phone debating on texting him because I had this longing to see him and no sooner had I decided I was, indeed, going to send him a message, his name popped up on my phone with a text from him. The conversation basically went like this:

Unboyfriend:  You working?

Me: Nope

Unboyfriend: What are you doing? (Yes, I’m adding grammar and punctuation)

Me: Walking the dog

Unboyfriend: What are you doing after?

Me: Nada

Unboyfriend: I’m about to shower. Wanna come over when I’m done.

Me: Yes. I need to shower too. Just text me.

And just like that, it began again, momentarily.

I went to his place. He opened the door for me. I walked in. We gave each other a smooch. I sat on the couch. He brought me a water. We looked at a movie, but didn’t really watch it because we were talking. Not about anything of substance or about our two month absence from one another, just about unimportant bullshit like my new job and the weather. We had a few shots and then when the movie that we weren’t really watching was over, he stood up, said, “you ready?” I said yes and we went to bed like we have done dozens of times before. Then we had sex, of course, and it was amazing like it always is. I mean, really, really amazing. Guinness book of world records amazing. And then morning came and I had to go to work. I got dressed, he walked me to the door, kissed me, smacked me on the ass, and I left. I haven’t seen him since. We’ve talked a time or two and yesterday he invited me to come over and I don’t know why, but I lied and told him I had plans. I had zero plans, but I just didn’t want to be bothered with that whole situation at all. I’m sure my friend Crystal will be super happy when she reads that because she is still hell bent on my “re-virgining” myself one month at a time. I told her that I would be more than willing to go “virgin” if she would go vegan. I think she agreed to it as she was stuffing a beef arepa in her mouth. We all have our vices. Anyway, I’ve been rethinking my life recently. I haven’t come up with anything solid except that maybe if I become a workaholic, I won’t have to worry about these “relationship” or “unrelationship” issues. The only problem with that theory is that I currently work on salary, which means I can work 100 hours if I want to, but then I’ll only be making like five bucks an hour in actuality and though I’m a giving person, I’m not an idiot. Maybe it’s time to get a hobby. Or a therapist. I’ll flip a coin.


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