Well, It’s finally day 2 of 365 of the new year. I didn’t talk to Off the Record so I’m still not sure where we stand or if we even stand at all. I did have a small mental breakdown. Not sure for what reason. I think I’ve just been so overwhelmed with so many emotions, they had to come out at some point. So as I sat by the river earlier today, I pretty much lost my shit and cried for a solid ten minutes. Then I wiped my eyes on the sleeves of my sweatshirt and I said to myself, “what the fuck are you worrying about? Everything will work out exactly as it should.” And I stopped worrying about what is going to happen. Mostly because I thought about what Off the Record said. When we first met he said that people come into our life for a reason or a season or a lifetime. So I’m not going to worry about what is going to happen because I’m just going to trust that whatever is supposed to happen will. And I’m just hoping that things go in the direction that I want because if I’m being honest, I kind of manifested him to be in my life in the first place.
I guess that’s what I forgot to mention. I’ve been putting my life in the hands of the universe. Or God. Whatever you choose to call it. I’ve been super focused on things changing for me. I cut out all the negative people in my life like everyone from the granite shop. Also cut off unboyfriend around the corner who keeps texting. Stopped really talking to everyone from my past because it’s in the past for a reason right?
So I was talking to the universe. Pretty regularly. And I was like, you know, Mr. Universe. I think I’m ready. I’m ready to settle down. I’m ready to find someone solid to be with. Since I get to pick (said in my sarcastic voice), I’d like him to be smart, funny, sexy, handsome, caring, generous, strong-willed, full of character, honest, and if I’m being completely honest, maybe he should be a truck driver so we don’t get sick of each other. And then the universe delivered exactly what I ordered. So who am I to complain or start to worry that it’s not going to work out? I set it all in motion anyway, right?
So now I guess I just have to go back in and fine tune this mindset of mine to get it through his thick skull that these things take more than a few days to work out the details. Maybe it will work. Maybe it won’t. But either way, I’m not going to lose faith. Plus, meeting him inspired the last poem in the poetry book that I am submitting to this contest that I’ve been eyeballing for a couple months.
If you want to read the very rough draft of it, let me know below and I’ll send you a pdf preview. (don’t worry, it won’t come with extra spam or anything, but it will come with the expectation that you tell me if you love it or hate it).
I know, I know. I make things so simple. But only because I like them to be simple as well. So, if I was all negative Nancy yesterday, my bad. I think I’m over it. Que sera, sera, right?
And just in case I haven’t mentioned it yet, thank you all for continuing to come back day after day to read and comment and share the little moments that make me….”unique” (that’s a good word isn’t it?). You all are pretty awesome. Have a great day!!