Dear Woman, One Day You Will Meet Your Person

Dear Woman,

One day, you will meet your person. The one who you thought didn’t exist. And that person will show you sides of a relationship that you thought were saved only for Hollywood movies. And you will blindly jump in because it just feels so good. And maybe it will last for an eternity. Maybe you will have to work on it to make it last. Or maybe, it will be just a fleeting moment in this long life you have left.

Maybe things won’t work out. Maybe you will feel like you gave your all and the person you were in love with only gave 50%.

It’s OK to be hurt. But please don’t be mad. Some people aren’t as complete as you. Some people only have 50% to give.  Some people are still trying to figure out who they are and what they want. They are trying to figure out HOW to figure out who they are and what they want.

That has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.

Just remember:

You are allowed to break when your heart has been broken. You don’t have to apologize for falling in love too hard or too fast. The way you love is a gift. And you are allowed to cry until you can’t anymore when someone takes that gift and discards it like it never mattered. And people will do that without a thought to you or your feelings.

Your heartbreak doesn’t make you weak. The fact that you were able to love in the first place makes you one of the strongest people.

You are allowed to curse and break plates and eat that whole pint of ice cream if it is going to make you feel better. You can watch The Notebook on repeat and wish for your Noah. You can throw your head into your pillow and sob until it is soaked with your heartache and your head throbs with the knowledge that there will be no more new memories.

What you are not allowed to do is to shrink yourself down to fit into the mold that people want you to fit in order to spare yourself the heartbreak. You are not allowed to apologize for having standards and expectations that you insist be met without wavering. You are not allowed to lower your standards. Ever.

 

You are allowed to continue to see the best in people.

You are not allowed to beat yourself up when they disappoint you.

Because lots of times, they will disappoint you.

You are allowed to sprinkle magic everywhere you go because that’s what makes you happy and you need to continue to do those things even when the rest of the world does not understand.

You are allowed to wake up happy and go to bed the same way even if your life is not what you were hoping. You are allowed to smile the day after you cried all day.

You are allowed to fall in love in the time it takes winter to turn to spring. You are allowed to picture your happily ever after five seconds after your first kiss. Because sometimes you just know.

What you are not allowed to do is to beat yourself up when things fall apart. And sometimes they do. It is not your fault. You are amazing. You just keep working on you.

Not everybody loves like you. In fact, most people don’t. Most people can’t meet someone in the middle of a flea market and know, by the way they smile and the way they shove their hands in their pocket while they walk around, that they could love them forever if given the chance. Nope, not everybody sees things the way you do.

You are special. Somehow, in all the chaos and disappointment that life has thrown around, you still see the best in everyone. You still believe in soul mates and true love. You believe in love at first sight. You believe things work out the way they are supposed to and that every person you meet was sent to you for a reason.

Don’t let the laughter of others change your mind about those ideas.

And don’t let someone else’s lack of completeness trick you into believing that you weren’t amazing. Don’t let your mind trick you into believing that this is the last straw. Don’t become jaded and tell yourself that you will never love again.

Take your day to mourn. Take your day to acknowledge your pain. Take as long as you need. You will peel yourself up off the cold floor soon. You will take that deep breath and release the pain into the universe again. You will stand up, dust yourself off, and smile again.

Just keep reminding yourself that not everyone is going to love you like you love them. You are a once in a lifetime gift. And you are not meant for everyone. But you are meant for someone even if that someone is just you.

So keep loving. Keep living. But most of all, keep being the amazing woman you already know you are.