Today marks 2 weeks of Flea Market Guy’s sobriety and almost two weeks of us living together. Both have been surprisingly pleasant. I think part of the success was FMG moving in with me. Even though it wasn’t under the circumstances that I would have wanted it which would have looked like lots of conversation and planning and doing it because he loved me and wanted to be with me versus him self destructing, falling into an alcoholic abyss and getting kicked out of his place because he’d rather drink than adult. But then I remind myself when I have gotten things the way that I want them? The answer is usually never.
I may eventually get what I want but it’s usually never with the roses and diamonds. It’s usually just with the rose colored glasses I’m always wearing. So despite not getting my spoiled little way in “WHY” he is here, I have to admit that life has been really pleasant “BECAUSE” he is here.
I still haven’t taken Super Therapist’s advice and “defined terms” for our relationship. Although, I do know it’s more than a friendship, I guess. He refers to me as his girlfriend and we sleep in the same bed, but he’s not lovey dovey when he’s not drinking. Drunk Flea Market Guy is super affectionate and kissy faced. Sober FMG is…. well, he’s preoccupied with sobriety because alcohol has consumed much of his adult life so I’m sure he’s feeling like he’s missing a piece of himself.
He has been working really hard on finding his new self, though. Therapy, meetings, work, and he’s helped out a ton around the house with yard work and house work. And I can’t even begin to remember the last time I had a man around who did either of those. He has also found another job that he’s starting on Monday and it should be pretty flexible to allow for his classes and whatnot that he really needs to do to keep him sober.
I’m sure there are a ton of people who think I’m crazy. Again, I guess it goes back to two camps. And maybe I am crazy, but I’ve never claimed to be sane. I’m also an optimist and one of those people who sees potential over reality. And when it comes right down to it, I know how compatible sober FMG and I are so I am optimistically cautious about what is happening lately, but optimistic nonetheless. Plus, I see the potential of what our relationship could be if he stays the course. And even if I end up broken hearted in the end, I think this will have all been worth it.
That’s my story for now. I think you and I both know that if it doesn’t work out there will be some devastating heartbreak poems written and a murder that never happens plotted out and maybe I will live out a Miranda Lambert song and key his truck or something, but that’s worst case scenario and like I said, I’m an optimist!
Other than the cohabitation situation, everything else has also been fine. Except for work. Work sucks right now. But it sucks so much for so many reasons that I’m not even going to bother to complain about it. Mostly because complaining will inhibit my ability to win the lottery tonight. Positive vibes and all that.
I’ve already been visualizing how the blogs will change once I’ve won $10 million and can just travel and write. Then if it doesn’t work out with FMG, I will resort to my backup plan of sleeping with one man from every nationality while I am followed in my travels by a film crew. True reality television.
But for now, we will just keep celebrating the little victories and taking one breath at a time and enjoying one moment at a time.
What little victories are you celebrating these days?