RouletteWeekend

@rouletteweekend
1–2 minutes

  • Pimento Cheese with a Side of Loneliness

    I’m forty years old. I had gone my whole life without ever even thinking about eating pimento cheese. That is, until I became a vegetarian and went to a Christmas party that was only serving meat sandwiches and pimento cheese sandwiches. My boss, at the time, couldn’t believe that I had never eaten pimento cheese… Read more

  • Adulting My Room…It’s not about Porn.

    My brother came over today to work on my computer and to help set up this new blog you are looking at. I figured I better move it now before the cult following really gets started. I’m picking out Kool-Aid flavors as you read. Anyway, my dogs are always assholes when someone first comes over.… Read more

  • When Your Boss is Almost Your Wingman

    I asked my boss if he would please hire someone tall dark and handsome for me to work with because I’m surrounded by women. And him. But he doesn’t count because he has a baby mama and babies…in diapers. And he’s young and my boss. So he tells me that it would be a conflict… Read more

  • Extreme Coupon Override

    I currently work retail. At any given moment that could change because I’m rarely satisfied with anything in my life besides the food at my favorite restaurant and how my kids turned out. Other than that, I don’t get attached to much and I don’t stick around if I’m not happy; that goes for relationships… Read more

  • Call Me Mommy

    I have a neighbor on the corner from my house. She’s about 60 or 65 years old and she despises me. Her dad lives on the opposite corner a block in front of her house. He sits outside either on his porch or in his side yard in a chair when the weather is nice.… Read more

  • The President and First Lady Can Finally Fart

    I wonder when the Presidents’ terms expire and they are sitting at home in their recliners watching the new president doing their state of the Union addresses if they are thinking, “man, I’m glad that’s over.  Remember that time we had Mexican before my last speech? It’s a good thing the camera was in front… Read more